I Feel Compelled.

by M. Lizabeth Currain

It’s Saturday night, and after a long day at work, I am home and browsing the interwebs as usual. I’m on one of my favorite gossip rags, DListed and the brilliant Michael K. had two posts that caught my eye. The first having to do with some Swedish singer/children’s television host, named Eric Saade. He apparently has a song called Manboy. This is the video:

Now, this song is terrible. But it is very, very catchy. And it just makes me think about how happy all the people in Sweden must be. They have all this shitty pop music! How can you not be happy, what, with songs like Manboy playing every day! I honestly think that if I were to move to Sweden, meet the right people, I could be a pop sensation over there. I don’t really think that much vocal talent will be involved. Also, judging by those dance moves, I will fit in just fine! I think my first single is going to be called Womangirl. It’ll be produced by Max Martin.

The second post had to do with Rihanna. Now, I’m not going to lie, I have a Rihanna album on my Ipod. I didn’t buy it, I bogarted the CD from a friend. And it was the one with “Umbrella” on it. Who doesn’t have that album? Anyways, she was performing at something called the Echo Awards in Berlin. This is what I gathered from their website:

“The DMA International ECHO Awards Competition honors the world’s best direct marketing campaigns — campaigns that have raised the bar in terms of strategy, creativity and results. No other awards competition looks at the direct marketing discipline in such totality. Which is why no other awards competition is so important.”

I still have no idea, or why Rihanna would be performing at this. Girl needs a paycheck I guess. This was her performance:

Really, Rihanna? Really? What do robots have to do with anything, that your song is about?! From what I understand the lyrics to be; and from the various definitions of “rude boy“; Rihanna wants either, a) 1960’s juvenile delinquent  or criminal from Jamaica, b) a two-tone ska follower, or c) a youth involved with street culture that is similar to Badman; to come and fuck her, but only if he has a big dick and can get it up. Where do the Robots come in?! Did I miss the part where Robots had penises? I’m confused. Also, at the end, did she make out with one of the Robots, or did I imagine that? And why is she wearing a modified French maid’s outfit? Is she a maid on an intergalactic Jamaican space station?

I don’t like this performance. I don’t really like this song. But I especially do not like this performance. Call me a prude or what have you, but the fact that she is pretty much bent over for the entire performance, dry humping a Robot, is somewhat disturbing. She took a page out of the Michael Jackson playbook and was grabbing at herself a lot.  Not to mention that at the end of the performance, one of the Robots, squirts a liquid on her! OFFENSIVE on so many levels! Not to mention degrading! Rihanna is 21 (I think) and is free to do whatever she wants as a woman and a performer, but really, this is what she decided to go with? Normally, I don’t get all up in arms over this kind of thing, but I’m really tired of the over-sexualization of young women and this performance does not help. I know that Rihanna is not the first female to get all sexual, seemingly over night, but it just seems very forced and like she feels obligated to make herself a sexual object. At least with Britney Spears, in the beginning, it was kind of subversive and not all in your face.

I still can’t get over the Robots. Thoughts?