Grocery Shopping

by M. Lizabeth Currain

This is one of my least favorite activities. There is a simple explanation for it: Grocery shopping involves a lot of other people. Random people, people I didn’t ask to go grocery shopping with, yet there they are. New York City (and it’s boroughs) are also lacking in what I would consider to be actual supermarkets. It’s not like the ‘burbs where you have a big supermarkets with everything you need in one building, lining your streets. Here in my beyond Thunderdome part of Brooklyn, if I want to make, let’s say lasagna with turkey sausage, I may very well have to go to 3 different stores to get the ingredients. It’s ridiculous. It also involves the subway  or bus sometimes. Or at the very least walking four blocks with very heavy grocery bags. Grocery shopping is pretty much the only thing that makes me wish I had a car. I’d settle for a personal assistant.

Today I was actually up and motivated to go to the big supermarket three subway stops away. I had a grocery list written down and everything. I’m pretty much Susie Homemaker. I was tempted to go to Whole Foods in the City, but I just did not have it in me. The layouts of all the Whole Foods locations in Manhattan are atrocious. They are hard to navigate, the produce section is cramped, and there is inevitably five elderly people in my way at all times. Or people who appear to have never been grocery shopping before in their life. They are always stopping short, making turns out of nowhere, standing and staring at something while in the middle of the aisle. I feel like this really applies to all supermarkets, but I mainly get irritated when I am at Whole Foods because the store is such a clusterfuck to begin with. I mean, come on! I know there isn’t that much space to build, but would it have hurt to hire someone who knew what they were doing? I have zero patience to begin with and it doesn’t help that everyone grocery shopping in New York took some sort of “shopping jackassery 101” class.

Well today was a special day! I made it to the store during that magical window of time when hardly anyone is there! I didn’t mutter obscenities under my breath once! I didn’t silently curse fellow shoppers! No one got in my way! I was able to buy everything I needed in one place! I saved money! Most importantly, I didn’t wish death on anyone! Not even the cashier–she was lovely! I’m having trouble believing this happened. I’m afraid I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning and my fridge will be empty and I’ll have to eat a blow of plain cream of wheat for breakfast. Please don’t let this be a dream. I don’t want to go back to the store for at least another week and a half!

Am I the only person that feels this way about grocery shopping? I mean, I would like it a lot more if they would just let me be the only person in the store shopping and when I’m done, everybody else can come in. I don’t think that’s so wrong. If people weren’t so awful, I wouldn’t feel this great need to separate myself from them.

The cheddar and broccoli quiche I made turned out slammin’. I can’t wait to eat it for the next 6 days.