The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Month: July, 2011

I’ve been found out

Netflix figured out they were sending me three dvds at a time, instead of the two that I’m allowed. I am crushed. It all started with a broken copy of The Man Who Would be King. I reported it as broken and they sent me a replacement immediately. I guess when they got the broken copy back, they blindly sent me the next movie I had in my queue. But I still had two movies at home…my replacement copy of The Man Who Would be King and some crappy movie I can’t remember. This went on for almost two weeks! It was glorious! I always had a dvd to watch. And then they took it away from me. I mean they raise the prices and they can’t even do me the courtesy of letting me scam them for a little longer?


All caps felt necessary.

Sorry this is all I can muster up. I was cleaning my apartment and am now brain dead. My best friend from back home is coming to visit and I don’t want her to think I live in a slum. I mean, I sort of do. I just want to see if I can fool her into thinking otherwise. Hopefully while she is here I will be able to keep up this blogging momentum that I have. The posts will probably be shorter but I will definitely try. There will definitely be a post about me trying to relive my ‘tween (they didn’t have that word when I was actually in that age group) years by going to a NKOTBSB on Sunday with my BFF. Ya’ll are going to want to stick around for that one.

I want it that way. 90’s hairstyles and all

::photo taken by Sara over at The Girl Can’t Help It::

This is what I’ve become

I am apparently a single, mid-40’s, woman in the very early 90s. I may or may not own cats. But I definitely own a sweatshirt with a cat on it. It has glitter on it, I can guarantee that.

I’ll tell you why.

I watched Three Men and a Baby (1987) while eating a pint of Haagan Daazs. AND I ENJOYED IT. Ya’ll can judge if you want, but that movie is fantastic. Danson, Selleck, Guttenberg? Selleck in shorty shorts. Montages. Plus that apartment they live in in the movie is SICK. I highly recommend you watch this film if you haven’t already. Leonard FUCKING Nimoy directed it. Yes, you read the previous sentence correctly. You should follow it up with Three Men and a Little Lady (1990).  You’re going to want to be all caught up for when THREE MEN AND A BRIDE, which is in development, comes out in 2012. I can’t wait! I’ve got a cat t-shirt and matching scrunchy picked out and ready to go.

Seriously you guys, I’m not joking. I’ve already placed my order for this beaut:

How hot am I going to look?!


I’m okay with where my life is headed. It’s like my life is following the Kübler-Ross Model. I’ve moved on from depression and am now on to acceptance. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am going to be wearing a kitten shirt. There are some things you just can’t fight.

::Buy all your cat shirts at Animal Shirts::

Grocery Shopping

This is one of my least favorite activities. There is a simple explanation for it: Grocery shopping involves a lot of other people. Random people, people I didn’t ask to go grocery shopping with, yet there they are. New York City (and it’s boroughs) are also lacking in what I would consider to be actual supermarkets. It’s not like the ‘burbs where you have a big supermarkets with everything you need in one building, lining your streets. Here in my beyond Thunderdome part of Brooklyn, if I want to make, let’s say lasagna with turkey sausage, I may very well have to go to 3 different stores to get the ingredients. It’s ridiculous. It also involves the subway  or bus sometimes. Or at the very least walking four blocks with very heavy grocery bags. Grocery shopping is pretty much the only thing that makes me wish I had a car. I’d settle for a personal assistant.

Today I was actually up and motivated to go to the big supermarket three subway stops away. I had a grocery list written down and everything. I’m pretty much Susie Homemaker. I was tempted to go to Whole Foods in the City, but I just did not have it in me. The layouts of all the Whole Foods locations in Manhattan are atrocious. They are hard to navigate, the produce section is cramped, and there is inevitably five elderly people in my way at all times. Or people who appear to have never been grocery shopping before in their life. They are always stopping short, making turns out of nowhere, standing and staring at something while in the middle of the aisle. I feel like this really applies to all supermarkets, but I mainly get irritated when I am at Whole Foods because the store is such a clusterfuck to begin with. I mean, come on! I know there isn’t that much space to build, but would it have hurt to hire someone who knew what they were doing? I have zero patience to begin with and it doesn’t help that everyone grocery shopping in New York took some sort of “shopping jackassery 101” class.

Well today was a special day! I made it to the store during that magical window of time when hardly anyone is there! I didn’t mutter obscenities under my breath once! I didn’t silently curse fellow shoppers! No one got in my way! I was able to buy everything I needed in one place! I saved money! Most importantly, I didn’t wish death on anyone! Not even the cashier–she was lovely! I’m having trouble believing this happened. I’m afraid I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning and my fridge will be empty and I’ll have to eat a blow of plain cream of wheat for breakfast. Please don’t let this be a dream. I don’t want to go back to the store for at least another week and a half!

Am I the only person that feels this way about grocery shopping? I mean, I would like it a lot more if they would just let me be the only person in the store shopping and when I’m done, everybody else can come in. I don’t think that’s so wrong. If people weren’t so awful, I wouldn’t feel this great need to separate myself from them.

The cheddar and broccoli quiche I made turned out slammin’. I can’t wait to eat it for the next 6 days.

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