Normal
by M. Lizabeth Currain
Unfortunately, the date went well, which means that I really have no horrible details to share with you all. He seemed to be normal. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to describe someone I’ve been on a date with as ‘normal’. I mean there was the this guy, but he turned out to be not normal when he officially dumped me after one date. At least in my mind that is not normal. I could be wrong though. Most of what I know about dating has been learned from abc family movies. Seriously, abc family needs to hire me, they are missing out on the goldmine of awesome ideas that are in my brain.
He dressed normal. I wasn’t offended by anything that he was wearing, so points for that. Generally, I will dismiss someone fairly quickly if I think their outfit is a little weird…remember him? I can’t help it! The person you are out with is a reflection on one’s self, I don’t want people to think I am a weirdo because the guy I am with is dressed like Steven Seagal on bad (good, maybe?) day.
- I wish this were a joke.
He likes Deep Space 9 and King of the Hill; these are obvious requirements for anyone that I plan on going out with. I can’t date a man who doesn’t like television. I mean, what would have to talk about? Injustice in the world, the economy, global warming? I like to keep things light! He liked that I liked Dolph Lundgren and he said I was really funny. Obviously, I’m all about a guy that laughs at my jokes and thinks I am funny. It’s all about me. That’s one thing I learned about dating from abc family. Well that or you completely change yourself in order to get a guy to like you. The latter option I’m not to fond of because that involves work. Although, sometimes I think it would be entertaining to go on a date and be really cheerful, talk in a somewhat high pitched voice, and giggle a lot to see where that gets me. I’m thinking it could either land me in an institution for when I snap because of all my suppressed rage or it could get me a really nice summer home in Cape Cod.
He was just normal. I don’t think I am used to that. He messaged me today to say that he hamd a good time and that we should hang out again soon. I agreed. We’ll see if I think he is normal on the second date or if the novelty of normality has worn off and I can find something wrong with him. Anyone willing to place any bets on that?
I do have a post date subway platform story to share with you all. However, you’ll just have to wait until Monday! I have to keep you guys coming back somehow and if that means being a blog tease, well then, so be it.
Well if you end up in an institution, I’ll visit you and bring you a baked good, or sneak in some alcohol. And if you end up in a nice house on Cape Cod, I’ll visit you, and expect gourmet baked goods and fancy alcohol to be served to me. And please tell me the guy who was dressed like Seagal had on a shiny sating asian-inspired thing. Also, Paleo boy loves Deep Space 9…
Uh…he did. But I made him take it off before we made out, I have standards after all! I’m like Paleo boy more and more haha
You asked for bets…and i’m throwing my hat in the ring.
I’m guessing that on your next date with him you’ll notice some qualities that are too “abnormal” for your taste. Here are my best three guesses on some strange qualities he could end up having.
1. You will notice that he has one follicle of long facial hair on his face. It was likely missed by his cheap electric razor. So there will just be one hair sticking out of his cheek or something and it always manage to draw your attention while you’re speaking with him.
2. When he is speaking you’ll notice he makes this weird popping sound with his tongue when he smiles.
3. He has a deep hatred of the color yellow. So deep, in fact, he participates in political rallies that are trying to eliminate the use of the color in safety signs across the country.
I’m willing to put five bucks on the second one. Still, there is promise in the first one. That one hair would be really annoying, especially if you go on a 3rd or 4th date and he manages to miss it again…
Also, I am a complete stranger to your blog, but you are a funny human. I shall read more from you.
Oh it will most definitely be something like number 2 on that list. I can already sense it. Thanks for stoppin’ by ye olde blog!!
[…] me luck? Also, this is a different guy than the one I went out with a week or two ago…the normal one. I’m not really picturing that going anywhere. I’m really living it up internet dating […]