This Week in Searches

by M. Lizabeth Currain

Ugh. Friday. Again. It’s been a real rough week folks. Between putting up with bullshit from guys and dealing with jackals that I work with, I have never wanted to crawl into a hole never to resurface, more in my life. You know what, when I hang out with someone and we have a good time and they drive me home the next morning, I deserve to have them text me back when I inquire about hanging out again. I don’t even care if the answer is ‘no’. Just realize that there is someone alive on the other side of that phone waiting for a response. Ignoring the text, doesn’t mean that I am no longer alive. We also work about a block and a half away from each other and I’ve already bumped into him once before I had texted him. I hope I bump into him again. So I can say, “go fuck yourself, you stupid piece of shit.” I’m sick of this shit! I should take out my tampon and throw it at him. Yes, I am blaming my period for part of my rage right now.

Weekly search time!

2011-09-09 to Today


val kilmer 119
jean claude van damme 21
jean claude van damme hot 12
aj mclean 8
cobra sylvester stallone 6
jean claude van damme ass 6
sylvester stallone cobra 5
jean-claude van damme 5
val kilmer shirtless 5
van damme hot 4
robert redford with mustache 4
roy scheider 3
hilarious pet peeves 2
jean claude van damme wallpaper 2
sexy librarian 2
pregnant mermaids 2
ventriloquist’s dummy 2
val 2
roy scheider marathon 2
ventriloquist dummy 2
van damme 2
jean-claude 2
john claud van wordpress 2
half ton mom 2
imagenes de jean claude 2
the woman with giant legs 2
sylvester stallone beer 2
andrea zuckerman 2
jean claude van damme height 2
a.j mclean 2
robert redford hair 2
gwildor 2
sam elliott roadhouse 2
robert redford mustache 2
jean claude van damme dancing 2
headbands that go across your forehead 2
smoking cigarette holder 1
אנדריאה צוקרמן 1
val kilmer images 1
half ton woman 1
jean clode vandame 1
urobe sex 1
njean claude van damm 1
mermaid girl on oprah 1
pics of val kilmer 1
text girl ok ill give you a call this weekened 1
is mandy sellars gay 1
van damme kickboxer splits 1
puppet dummy 1
picture of jean claude van damme doing the splits 1
sylvester stallone beard 1
van damme wallpaper 1
samuel elliott 1
another exciting friday night 1
rainbow unicorn 1
a.j. mclean 1
lifeguard 1976 1
fatty sex 1
mom and dad do sex 1
fotos de val kilmer 1
nkotbsb “nick carter” tall 1
pictures of gwildor 1
imagenes de a.j mclean 1
jean claude 1
val kilmer image 1
madonna cigarette 1
mandy sellars tlc 1
jon kortajarena 1
robert redford 1
pics of cobra sylvester stallon 1
picture of sylvester stallone in movie cobra 1


Good lord, Val Kilmer is still in the lead for getting people here. 151 (these numbers might be off, I navigated away from the stats screen and then came back and things were different) searches for him led people to Hilarious and Negative this week. Apparently he has nine projects in the works, including The First Ride of Wyatt Earp. This will probably be amazing! “I’m your huckleberry”! I hope that line gets repeated over and over again for 2 hours. Van Damme is a distant second with 75 searches. I think the fact that he is going to be in the next Expendables movie, is doing this blog a huge favor.

Some of my favorites this week:

People are searching for Gwildor! This warms my heart. Gwildor is awesome. I bet this blog would be even more popular if this were the mid-to-late 1980’s.

Someone was searching for “ventriloquist’s dummy”. I hope it’s not the guy that sent me a message on OkCupid. If it is, I’m kind of scared. Both he and the dummy had a crazy look in their eyes. Like kidnapping and murdering was something that they find perfectly normal.

“headbands that go across your forehead”. All I have to say to the two people that were searching for this particular headband style: Don’t do it. You will look like a jackass and someone like me will write a blog post about how idiotic you look and how annoying you are. Don’t let your life come to that. Plus, it’s going to leave marks across your forehead and dent the back part of your hair. Not a good look. You will look like a schmuck.

“fatty sex”. Yes, fat people have sex. Just ask Manuel.

“mom and dad do sex”. I wonder how this led one person to Hilarious and Negative. I hope it’s not some poor child seeking advice after catching his or her mom and dad in the act. They ain’t getting no comfort or help from this blog.

“another exciting friday night”. Right there with ya buddy.

and my favorite…

“text girl ok ill give you a call this weekened”. YES. And if you do text this girl that you will call her this weekend, actually call her. Don’t just say, follow through. You can do this, it isn’t scary. When you like someone, let them know for Christ’s sake. Don’t just leave it hanging there. Young men of the world, be decent.

I’m watching more episodes of Wings…another exciting Friday night indeed.