The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

And The Winner Is…


Oh, what’s that you say?

The Giants won? That accounts for the shouting that was going on in my neighborhood a little while ago. It’s as if they had been playing in the Super Bowl and were getting their ring this year. They were probably shooting off fireworks. Apparently having a team you don’t play for, win a trophy and a ring you will never get to touch is pretty damn exciting!

Oh well. Maybe next year for Da Bears.

And clearly, the real winner tonight is me! Because I finished that paper before midnight!

Twitter Fight: Round Two!

Oh my gosh you guys! My Twitter fight really took off after I went to sleep last night. Not only did he tweet at me, but someone else got involved too! As far as I can tell @thomaswhardy is some sort of Australian Libertarian who believes that a woman’s womb is her own.

This just got crazy in the past hour! I’ll do my best to recreate the play-by-play. This is better than the Superbowl if you want my honest opinion.

So after letting his tweet sink in for a few minutes and then punishing myself with reading his other tweets, I cam across these two gems.

Previously I had been debating about whether or not to keep tweeting at him, but since it’s Sunday and I want to wait until the last possible minute to start that paper, I thought I’d go ahead and goad this person a little further.

Obviously, I know just what to say to get a response.

Oh! The typo to end all typos! That’s like when Santorum said “Black people” but insisted he said “Bleaugh people” as if that was any better. Also the whole 3 of 4 and 6 to 10…where is he getting that figure? By his calculations three men are producing 2 to 3 babies at a time and then aborting all of them. If that’s the case, where are all these children I see every day, coming from?!

(editor’s note: I am so mad at myself for not proofreading that above tweet more carefully!)

Reading comprehension is pretty low on the internet. Those two above tweets go together, but you wouldn’t realize it considering that nowhere did I “blame” men.

Guys, just do yourself a favor and don’t Google “blackgenocide.org”. It’s not worth it. I did have the “guts” to read it and under their mission they have Deuteronomy 30:19 listed. In case you’re wondering what that is:

King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)
I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live

Now, really, that could be taken to mean a number of things. Like, “hey man, don’t kill yourself, you have kids to take care of” or something like that. It almost seems unlikely that the Bible would be addressing a woman directly, since they were thought of so highly back then. /sarcasm.

Well, TheFlaCracker’s tweet inspired one of my most favorite tweets I have ever written:

Oh man…I know it’s not cool to laugh at your own jokes, but damn! I was on fire.

A thinly veiled threat, maybe? I’m not really sure how threats on the internet work. I mean, I watched Cyberbu//y on ABCFamily, but all I got out of it was that the worst thing you can call a girl on the internet is a “whore.”

So, I decided I was going to put a stop to everything. Because, seriously you guys, I need to write this paper. It’s due tomorrow.

I was trying to bow out gracefully. I mean, I said “good day!” Which obviously means nothing, because 23 minutes later he comes back at me with these!

and my personal favorite

As the mature, 26 year old woman that I am, I’ve decided not to fan the flames of this giant moron any longer. Well, I did tweet on more thing at him, @modestmeaghan It was fun while it lasted. No one ever really “wins” on the internet, but it’s safe to say that I will be able to move on from this and he will probably still be tweeting from his parent’s basement in Tampa for the next billion years.



Twitter Fight

Well, avoiding a 16-page journal article and subsequent four-page paper I have to write this weekend has lead me to the above: a failed instigation of a Twitter fight.

TheFlaCracker started following me on Twitter for some reason. I don’t really know how or why they found me, because from what it looks like, I’m not really their key demographic. Or maybe I am? Maybe they are trying to convert me, I’m not really sure. I recommend taking a gander at the American Stinker Thinker that is under their twitter handle. I believe they are Tea Partiers or this is just really good performance art.

Well, I posted that tweet @TheFlaCracker because of these tweets from their feed:

I apologize to those of you that threw up all over your computers, but just know that you aren’t alone! I’m typing over puddles of vomit right now. That second tweet is especially obnoxious. As if all women “chose” to make a baby. Shit happens FlaCracker, I mean, you ended up here! I can only believe that you being born is an accident of epic proportions if I want to sleep soundly at night.

My favorite part about this person’s twitter feed, is (s)he–I want to assume that it’s a man, but there are women like Palin and Bachmann running around who would say dumb shit like this sooo who knows–repeats the same tweets every couple of days. They posted those gems at the end of January as well. Creativity not a strong trait among those Tea Partiers I am guessing.

So in a fit of outrage and boredom I tried to start a Twitter fight. My first ever! I’m sad to say they didn’t take the bait. At least not yet. I guess maybe there is still time. Maybe we can all get #TheFlaCrackerSUX trending on twitter.

I’ll keep you updated if this fight goes anywhere (crossing my fingers!) since I’ve locked myself in the apartment this weekend to do homework. So far, I’m failing at that too.

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