Da Bears

by M. Lizabeth Currain

In honor of California deciding that a voter approved ban on same-sex marriage was a dumb-fucking idea, (see also; unconstitutional) I’ve decided to talk about my favorite subset of the gay culture: BEARS

Having spent my birthday weekend last year in Provincetown during Bear Week and having made one laugh in a liquor store, I feel as though we have a connection now for the rest of our lives. I even bought a t-shirt!

Never have I been surrounded by as much body hair and mesh clothing as I was that weekend…and it was awesome. My favorite part is that they only seem to work out their arms; better to cuddle their cubs with, I guess?

At one point during the weekend, I was walking with my brother and his girlfriend and I heard this guy talking to his friends saying, “I’d suck every dick in this town!” I shouted back, “Hey! Me too!” (eh, not really, ’cause they were gay and wouldn’t be into it!) But there was a little boy with his family in front of me and he heard that…oops? Better that this boy learn now that it’s not just guys who go around doing that to each other; girls do it too. But you wouldn’t know that if your family always vacations in Provincetown for the Summer.

After that weekend I wanted to register the domain Bearaphernalia.com, but it was already taken. It could have either gone two ways, a really awesome online Bear community or a gay porn site. Both have their place in this world!

So, California, don’t make the mistake that a lot of people think you’re probably going to make! Don’t let the Supreme Court have a chance to mess this up.

You have a Bear on your flag for Christ’s sake! It’s only right!