The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

TLC, You’ve Done It Again

Tonight TLC is infotaining America with another episode of My-600-lb Life.

TLC, are you kidding me with this shit? Do you have a room full of morbidly obese people that you keep locked up for when you run out of reality series ideas? What number are we on now? Half-ton Teen, Half-ton Mom, Half-ton Dad, Obese & Pregnant, One Big Happy Family, World’s Heaviest Man, The 650-lb Virgin, Heavily Ever After, World’s Fattest Man (not to be confused with World’s Heaviest!)…and these are just the one’s that I can remember off the top of my head. That’s ten shows. TEN!!! About seriously, morbidly obese people! How are people still interested in this?

Do people actually watch these and go, “Oh hayyyy, I’m fat too! I better change my diet and get some exercise so I don’t end up on a TLC show!” No! We watch these shows because we know we aren’t as large as the people they are exploiting.

Who keeps pitching the same idea over and over again at development meetings? Do they sit around and stare at each other and go, “Well, we haven’t filmed some obese people cleaning out a buffet in six-months, I think it’s time we got back on that.” And everyone just nods their heads in agreement?

I’m beginning to think TLC has a serious fat-fetish. Like this.

Biggest Loser Recap

I present to you my thoughts on Week Six of The Biggest Loser in Haiku* form.

Dumb baby Huey

Man boobs looking with sad face

Be happy by Spring.

Conda stupid winter witch

Always whiny, always fat

Please leave, you suck balls.

Goodbye Adrian

Ascot couldn’t stand the drama

Slap Conda on your way out

There you have it guys! All you needed to know about this week’s episode of The Biggest Loser! Let me know what you think in the comments! Maybe I’ll recap more shows…since I like ignoring more important things like school and work.

*I checked and triple checked those damn syllables. So don’t even try and tell me these are not Haikus!; because they are now!

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