Fashion Week

by M. Lizabeth Currain

In dishonor of New York Fashion Week (Feb 9th-16th) I am going to be sharing some fashion related thoughts with all of you throughout the week. As a note, I have a degree in Fashion Design and spent some time working for various fashion companies. It was the worst. I continue to have opinions about fashion, the main one being: Seriously, what the fuck are you wearing? So for the next week don your best headband and enjoy the ride.

When I see girls in ridiculously high heels in inappropriate situations I often find myself willing their ankles to snap. I know it’s not very nice of me, but it’s also not very nice what they are doing to their feet, ankles, knees, and back.

Why for the love of all that is good in the world, would you ever need to be wearing 5-inch heels to be walking around New York City or ANY PLACE for the matter? There is no good reason, because it’s not necessary. You look like you’re trying too hard. Like way too hard. No one likes that.

According to a study by researchers at a Griffith University in Australia conducted on women who have been wearing heels for at least 40 hours a week for over a period of two years,

” the scientists found that heel wearers moved with shorter, more forceful strides than the control group, their feet perpetually in a flexed, toes-pointed position. This movement pattern continued even when the women kicked off their heels and walked barefoot. As a result, the fibers in their calf muscles had shortened and they put much greater mechanical strain on their calf muscles”

All of this leads to straight to a Liberty motor scooter! Your ankles will be broken, your toes will be hammered, and no man will ever love you because your feet look like a combination of Frodo Baggins and the Elephant Man.

Now, I’m not saying, “don’t ever wear high heels.”  I own a few good pairs myself and put them on occasionally when I like to pretend that I’m glamorous. But as with anything, do it in moderation. No one looks good hobbling down the street at 2 am because their heels are too high. It ain’t cute. Standing up straight and being able to outrun your attackers, is.