Can You Not Afford An Entire Shirt?!

by M. Lizabeth Currain

In dishonor of New York Fashion Week (Feb 9th-16th) I am going to be sharing some fashion related thoughts with all of you throughout the week. As a note, I have a degree in Fashion Design and spent some time working for various fashion companies. It was the worst. I continue to have opinions about fashion, the main one being: Seriously, what the fuck are you wearing? So for the next week don your best headband and enjoy the ride.

 

Seriously you guys, what is the deal with half shirts? Can we just all agree that they are universally unflattering? No one looks good in a half shirt. You end up looking like you forgot the rest of your outfit in 1991. The garbage can that is American Apparel is full of them.

They are not practical; your stomach will be cold. What about summer you say? That’s what flowy tank tops are for. Invest in some. You’ll still be able to wear them when you’re bloated.

Also, guys in half shirts. Please. Do us all a favor and just stop. You look like the biggest jackass. You’re not doing yourself any favors. You’re killing lady boners and man boners. YOU’RE KILLING ALL TYPES OF BONERS.

Too be fair, it’s not all the crop top’s fault in this case. Ugh. Sorry guys, I just threw up all over my computer. I’m soldiering on, typing though the vomit.

So, please if you’re reading this, and you know of someone who is committing the heinous crime of half-shirting; report them. Take a picture of them and then force them to look at it until their eyes bleed. Like ours are bleeding. It’s the only way that we can stop this.