Aliza Licht’s Reveal is Definitely the Worst ‘It Gets Better’ Video of All Time.

by M. Lizabeth Currain

In dishonor of New York Fashion Week (Feb 9th-16th) I am going to be sharing some fashion related thoughts with all of you throughout the week. As a note, I have a degree in Fashion Design and spent some time working for various fashion companies. It was the worst. I continue to have opinions about fashion, the main one being: Seriously, what the fuck are you wearing? So for the next week don your best headband and enjoy the ride.

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In the worst coming out story you’ll hear this week (straight ladies can’t do anything right), Aliza Licht, senior vice president for global communications at Donna Karan International, has revealed herself as the woman behind @DKNY’s DKNY PR Girl. It only took the New York Times about four months to notice, letting everyone know how slow of a news day it actually was.

“I CAME out on YouTube,” said Aliza Licht, who until recently was known to her legion of Twitter fans only as DKNY PR girl. “Of course, where else would you come out?”

How quaint! YouTube, the internet cat theater, is finally doing some good. I’m sure all 380,000 of her followers bought tickets for the midnight showing of the most self aggrandizing Twitter unveiling of our century.

“Seated at the Four Seasons lobby the other day (her pick for the roaring fireplace), Ms. Licht pondered her next steps. “I’ve never thought of myself as a public person,” she said.”

Really, you never thought of yourself as a public person? Interesting how the word “public” comes right before the word “relations.” Also, Twitter? Really? You’re not a public person, but you’re sharing every detail of your career and how you enjoyed a squished cake pop? Stop trying to sound modest; everyone knows your Fashion 2.0 Award for Best Twitter and Best Blog is practically a Pulitzer.

The whole article is barf-worthy. Let me just pull out some of my favorite quotes:

“Ms. Licht, a 37-year-old mother of two, grew up in the Five Towns area of Long Island, with dreams of becoming a plastic surgeon. It took a summer internship at a hospital to relieve her of that notion. “I can’t wear scrubs every day,” she said, throwing her head back and laughing. “I love fashion too much.'”

I love when people say things like, “I love fashion too much” as a reason to why they can’t or won’t do something. “Oh, I could never be a mathematician, I just love fashion too much.” Yeah, that’s the reason why could never be a mathematician. I know she is trying to sound charming and relatable in this piece about her, but she coming off as some sort of prententious try-hard.

“Her online voice comes across as girlie and intimate (morning routine, weekend mani-pedis and “Gossip Girl” critiques) but knowledgeable. She’ll discuss inner workings under the hashtag #PR101, as in “Attention to detail is everything. The wrong colored binder clip can destroy your presentation.'”

Yes, just what we need more of: grown women adopting a girlie facade in order to get people to pay attention to her. I understand wanting to produce something that makes people feel like they are a close part of your life, but you can do that without undermining your credibility as a professional/grown ass woman. She’s obivously worked very hard for the position that she has and it would be nice for those tweets to reflect that. Instead of hearing how “Listening to @MissJennaB place our 20 person sushi order just now was the most painful thing I have done all day.” Really, that’s the most painful thing you’ve done all day? You’re the VP for Global Communications! Surely you have responsibilities that are equally as painful as listening to a sushi order.

‘”The friends you make on Twitter are real relationships'”

I’m sure they are. I’ve met all my best, fake friends through the internet.