Ahmusings

The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Month: February, 2012

Aliza Licht’s Reveal is Definitely the Worst ‘It Gets Better’ Video of All Time.

In dishonor of New York Fashion Week (Feb 9th-16th) I am going to be sharing some fashion related thoughts with all of you throughout the week. As a note, I have a degree in Fashion Design and spent some time working for various fashion companies. It was the worst. I continue to have opinions about fashion, the main one being: Seriously, what the fuck are you wearing? So for the next week don your best headband and enjoy the ride.

 via

In the worst coming out story you’ll hear this week (straight ladies can’t do anything right), Aliza Licht, senior vice president for global communications at Donna Karan International, has revealed herself as the woman behind @DKNY’s DKNY PR Girl. It only took the New York Times about four months to notice, letting everyone know how slow of a news day it actually was.

“I CAME out on YouTube,” said Aliza Licht, who until recently was known to her legion of Twitter fans only as DKNY PR girl. “Of course, where else would you come out?”

How quaint! YouTube, the internet cat theater, is finally doing some good. I’m sure all 380,000 of her followers bought tickets for the midnight showing of the most self aggrandizing Twitter unveiling of our century.

“Seated at the Four Seasons lobby the other day (her pick for the roaring fireplace), Ms. Licht pondered her next steps. “I’ve never thought of myself as a public person,” she said.”

Really, you never thought of yourself as a public person? Interesting how the word “public” comes right before the word “relations.” Also, Twitter? Really? You’re not a public person, but you’re sharing every detail of your career and how you enjoyed a squished cake pop? Stop trying to sound modest; everyone knows your Fashion 2.0 Award for Best Twitter and Best Blog is practically a Pulitzer.

The whole article is barf-worthy. Let me just pull out some of my favorite quotes:

“Ms. Licht, a 37-year-old mother of two, grew up in the Five Towns area of Long Island, with dreams of becoming a plastic surgeon. It took a summer internship at a hospital to relieve her of that notion. “I can’t wear scrubs every day,” she said, throwing her head back and laughing. “I love fashion too much.'”

I love when people say things like, “I love fashion too much” as a reason to why they can’t or won’t do something. “Oh, I could never be a mathematician, I just love fashion too much.” Yeah, that’s the reason why could never be a mathematician. I know she is trying to sound charming and relatable in this piece about her, but she coming off as some sort of prententious try-hard.

“Her online voice comes across as girlie and intimate (morning routine, weekend mani-pedis and “Gossip Girl” critiques) but knowledgeable. She’ll discuss inner workings under the hashtag #PR101, as in “Attention to detail is everything. The wrong colored binder clip can destroy your presentation.'”

Yes, just what we need more of: grown women adopting a girlie facade in order to get people to pay attention to her. I understand wanting to produce something that makes people feel like they are a close part of your life, but you can do that without undermining your credibility as a professional/grown ass woman. She’s obivously worked very hard for the position that she has and it would be nice for those tweets to reflect that. Instead of hearing how “Listening to @MissJennaB place our 20 person sushi order just now was the most painful thing I have done all day.” Really, that’s the most painful thing you’ve done all day? You’re the VP for Global Communications! Surely you have responsibilities that are equally as painful as listening to a sushi order.

‘”The friends you make on Twitter are real relationships'”

I’m sure they are. I’ve met all my best, fake friends through the internet.

Fashion Week Ruins Everything According to Wealthy Neighborhood

In dishonor of New York Fashion Week (Feb 9th-16th) I am going to be sharing some fashion related thoughts with all of you throughout the week. As a note, I have a degree in Fashion Design and spent some time working for various fashion companies. It was the worst. I continue to have opinions about fashion, the main one being: Seriously, what the fuck are you wearing? So for the next week don your best headband and enjoy the ride.

via

Yesterday the New York Times ran an article about Fashion Week taking over Damrosch Park in Lincoln Center and annoying the neighborhood’s inhabitants.

The park is occupied (not by dirty hippies, like that other park) ten months out of the year due to Fall and Spring Fashion weeks, The Big Apple Circus from October to January, and private parties also under ritzy tents during the spring.

“Residents and some members of Community Board 7 said that in the past they had not looked forward to the four-month takeover of the park by the Big Apple Circus, but that they had grown used to it. Their frustration mounted, however, when Fashion Week arrived.

“It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back,” said Susan Levy, a resident of the Alfred.”

And my personal favorite:

“‘It’s an assault on the neighborhood,’ said Michael Graff, a lawyer who lives in the nearby Alfred condominium tower.”

Forgive me if I can’t seem to find my sympathy for Mr. Graff, who likely paid a million dollars for the condo he currently lives in. Hey, guess what Michael, my neighborhood is loud 24/7 and I don’t have the luxury of being 38-stories above the noise. I sleep with earplugs because the woman above me clomps around like a Clydesdale. I think you’ll survive.

“City officials brushed aside the criticism, saying that Damrosch Park was a hard-surface plaza with few visitors in winter. They argued that residents had ample access to nearby parkland, including Central Park, and said that many thousands of New Yorkers were able to enjoy the circus and the fashion shows.

“Fashion Week generates $865 million in economic activity each year and helps create jobs in one of our city’s most important industries,” said Julie Wood, a spokeswoman for Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg.”

There seems to be a lot of confusion about where some of those funds are being put and the NYC Park Advocates naturally think that the money Fashion Week pays Lincoln Center to use the park space should be put back into the city general fund instead of being used to finance fancy parties for rich people.

If Fashion Week gets kicked out Lincoln Center, where else can it go? Have the residents of the Lincoln Center area ever stopped for a second to think about that? There are literally no parks left for them to destroy if they live Damrosch! Bryant Park has already said, “Hell to the No” about fashion week! Central Park is all like, “Dahling, Fashion Week is for people who don’t know any better.” And Union Square is like, “PICK ME, PICK ME!” And no one likes desperation.

Next year I think it should be, “Honda Fashion Week at Flushing Meadows Park.” Just to wad everyone’s panties while they figure out how to get there.

Biggest Loser Recap: Episode 7

I present to you my thoughts on Week Six of The Biggest Loser in Haiku* form.

Dolvett and Conda in her hometown
Conda has daddy issues, surprise
We all still hate you

Teammates write nice words
Must have been hard to find them
Since she sucks so bad.

Daphne climbing stairs
Hardwork, revenge for your bro
Put an end to Conda please

Red loses weigh in, duh
Bold lies at voting always
Stop with the fake tears

People can’t vote right
A sharp knife in Santa’s back
No presents this year

There you have it guys! All you needed to know about this week’s episode of The Biggest Loser! Let me know what you think in the comments! Hopefully next week will be the end of Conda! Can we all agree that she is the worst thing to happen to biggest loser since John last season?

*I checked and triple checked those damn syllables. So don’t even try and tell me these are not Haikus!; because they are now!

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