Biggest Loser Recap: Episode 10

by M. Lizabeth Currain


I present to you my thoughts on Week Nine of The Biggest Loser in Haiku* form.

The teams switch trainers
Here we go with the crying
Stop being babies!


Dolvett in tights this week, yes!
He could train me any day
Guys, more of this please.


Conda such a two faced snake
Claims she doesn’t play the game. Right.
Such a fat liar.


Just a fat dreamer
Don’t let New York crush you
You skinny now girl.

Seriously you guys, is this season over yet? I am so done with all of these people. I actually really felt bad for Cassandra and the way she was sent home. Conda is such a two-faced, little bitch, who so desperately wants to be part of the boys club that it’s annoying. Cassandra definitely deserved to be there over Chris or Megan. THEY LOST ONE POUND EACH! Are you kidding me?! I can relate to Cassandra a little bit, I was just a fat dreamer, who wanted to move to NYC too! And I did! And now I’m not fat! But NYC still crushes my soul a little bit every day, so, watch out girl! Also, how dumb was that clip of her looking for apartments using a NEWSPAPER!? Are you kidding me with this shit? Seriously, try craigslist. It’s what people on a budget use.

*I checked and triple checked those damn syllables. So don’t even try and tell me these are not Haikus!; because they are now!