Self Destruct

by M. Lizabeth Currain

Oh man. I’m really feeling out of sorts. So what do I do when this kind of thing happens? I go on a self destructive OkCupid messaging spree. Remember this guy? Well, I messaged him. Because he kept looking at my goddamn profile! Like stop looking at it, or just fucking message me you dipshit. And since I had nothing better to do at 11pm, I present you with the following.

You hear that ladies and gents? More interesting claptrap to come tomorrow. He better not disappoint. He does seem to be responsive to that the whole “negging” strategy that is just so dumb that it works.

If he were to ask me out, I would totally go on one of this stupid dates to a dance party at a loft, just so I could blog about it. And then kill myself.