I think I’ve decided on a new weekly feature. If you couldn’t glean what it is from the title of this post, well, there’s just no hope for you as a functioning human being. Every Friday I am going to look at the search engine terms that are leading people to my blog according to the good folks at WordPress. I’ll probably link to some existing content that would explain how those search terms would help people end up on my little corner of the internet. I’m looking for ways to make sure that I keep posting and that there is interesting content being published. And nothing is more interesting to me than what people type into Ask Jeeves.
So for the first installment: 8.12.2011 thru 8.19.2011:
|half ton teen||6|
|sam elliott roadhouse||4|
|mandy sellars losing legs||2|
|a. j. mclean||2|
|the movie lifeguard||2|
|people with crossed eyes||2|
|me and my giant leg||2|
|woman with giant legs photos||2|
|librarian whole body picture||2|
|no whistling zone||2|
|fortune cookies on misery||1|
|sam elliott+road house||1|
|lisa frank unicorn||1|
|james alexander mclean||1|
|which days do people go grocery shopping in new york?||1|
|small black cocktail hats||1|
|half ton dad||1|
|roy marathon man||1|
|tombstone the movie val kilmer quotes||1|
|one leg only girls||1|
|snl schmitts gay||1|
|1 ton dad after||1|
|tour guide humor||1|
It’s nice to see that Val Kilmer, AJ McLean, and Half Ton Teen still have what it takes to be constantly looked up on the interwebs. But the main search term, well two really, that caught my eye, were: ‘one leg only girls’ and ‘librarian whole body picture’. I’m inclined to believe, because this is the internet after all, that the one and two people respectively, searching for these terms are fetishists. Maybe it’s because I know that the internet is the crawling with weirdos (hey every person I Yahoo! chatted with in 1998!) or maybe it’s because I’m weird and always like to take things to that next level of “what-if-ery”.
I mean, why else would someone be searching for ‘librarian whole body picture’? Obviously, they have a thing for librarians, that can’t be fulfilled at their local library. Well, I guess it could, but they run the risk of being arrested and put on a registered sex offenders list. ‘one leg only girls’ also begs the question of “why?”. To me, it would seem less weird if ‘girls’ was singular. Having it plural seems to indicate there is something going on. When I Googled the phrase, a lot of answer-type sites came up with questions like, “Why do girls wear anklets on only one leg?” Um, because wearing them on both is overkill. Haven’t you ever heard that you’re supposed to take off one accessory before you leave the house? No need to be tacky, folks! Another favorite was, “Why do girls/women always lift one leg up when they are kissing a guy?” According to the geniuses answering questions on Yahoo! Answers, it’s a subconscious act of flirtation. There you have it world. SCIENTIFIC FACT. Maybe ladies do this in case they need extra force behind kneeing someone in the groin. Or maybe it’s because we are silly girls who wear pink and want our lives to be like the Princess Diaries.
Ha! What a joke.
Well, that’s it for tonight ya’ll. I’m supposed to be getting ready for an OkCupid date that’s happening in a little while. Is it really a date if we are meeting for drinks in a bar? I don’t even feel like drinking. I am going to seem like a total square. I’m already over it. I can’t tell if it’s a good or bad thing to go in there with an “I could really give a shit” attitude. I think it’s starting to rain outside, that’s always a good sign right?
Stick around these here parts to hear how my date went and also hope that this coming week is full of wacky search terms leading people to Hilarious and Negative!