The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Category: Celebrity Sighting

Ugh, maybe someday I’ll get the hang of updating

Look kids, I’m back. By kids I mean, the people that stumble on to this blog after Googling ‘Jocelyn Wildenstein‘ or ‘half ton teen‘. I know you’ve all been hitting refresh on this here blog since March and your day has finally arrived! I promise this time–I say this every time–I am going to be better about this. I turned 26 a couple of weeks ago and I am in serious need of something fulfilling in my life right now, so maybe writing on a blog that 2 people a week read, can be it. I’ve got to make this work dammit. Honestly, I should be a lot more popular Internet-wise, than I currently am–which is not at all. Get on that and make that happen for me, people of the Internet. People should be hanging on my every word because, every. word. I. say. is. so. god. damn. amazing.

So where did we leave off? I think I was lamenting my internet dating life. Well folks, I disabled my OkCupid profile. Yes, you heard me correctly. Disabled. That’s not the same as delete, so don’t get so fucking excited. I don’t go trolling for dudes on it anymore, so I didn’t really want anyone messaging me or laughing at my profile in the cold, dark, silence of their parent’s basement–so I turned it off. Meaning, people can’t see my profile; it’s as if it’s been deleted! However, I am also realistic and can see my inevitable return to the dumpster that is OkC, so if I ever log back onto the site, it reappears, as if I had been there all along! Saves me the trouble of coming up with a new screen name. I am nothing, if not a realist.

Other than that…I finally watched The Wire. Can I just go on record saying that it’s probably one of, if not the greatest show ever? It’s just so good! When I was in Massachusetts visiting my brother, I saw the actor Jim True-Frost who played Roland Pryzbylewski. I think I spooked him, because I might have emitted a high-pitched squeal when I saw him. I love celebrity sitings!

Now, I don’t want to blow my load on my first post back in months, but just so you all know, I have some gems stored up. They are just waiting to be shot onto the face of the internet. Gross! Tell your friends I sometimes write about loads being blown, I need all the readers I can get. I’m not going to be as picky about this as I am about the guys I go on dates with.

This 26th year of me being alive could possibly be the best thing that’s happened to this blog in a while. It’s quarter-life crisis time! Well, if I plan on living past 100. I’ve changed the look of the blog–yet again. I like this one. I don’t feel as though my eyes are being attacked. Also, to try and update more, there might be less “life-focused” pieces and there may be some weird exercises in fictional writing. I haven’t really decided yet. But I seriously need a creative outlet. Crafting can get to be really expensive and sometimes I think I’m not creative enough for that and I give up when things don’t turn out right. Also, as much as I want it to be, NetFlix is not a creative outlet. I’ve tried so hard to make it one, but it’s just not working. For those of you who are worried that the tone of this whole thing will change–slow your roll. Changing my tone would be like asking the Earth not to rotate around it’s axis. It just cannot be done.

So before I leave ya’ll biting your nails until the next time, I thought I would share this story because it basically happened like two hours ago. Right now, I’m a work. Working hard obviously. It’s a graduate assistant job–it’s not real work, people. Occasionally the phone will ring and I will answer it, prepared to ask someone, “Did you check the website”? Well, a woman called, asking about the location of a class she is taking in the fall, since it is off-campus. No big deal. I tell her where her class is, have a nice day, etc.  About an hour later she calls back, “Hi, this is so and so, and I just called asking about where a class is located, and are you the person I spoke with before”? Yes. “Well, after I hung up with you my phone wasn’t working properly and I was just wondering if you hung up your phone correctly or if you did something else”? Um, we just have a regular phone here and I just hung it up. Sorry. “Well, okay then”. And I hang up, correctly, again. UH???? How does any of that make any sense?! I don’t understand how me hanging up my phone wrong (which might be impossible) would affect how her phone works. She probably has an iPhone or an Android that she doesn’t know how to use properly and probably pressed hold instead of hanging up. I don’t get it. I love being blamed an hour later for OPP (Other People’s PROBLEMS). Also, self-sufficiency has really hit an all time low. I’m always getting calls or emails about things that are very easy to find out, if you search for it. If you had the energy to search for the phone number or the email, chances are, you’d probably be able to find out that other information that you needed. I am going to be a terrible librarian once I graduate. I have no time for people’s foolishness! Or the masturbatory habits of public library users.

Check back soon for more! And bring friends!

James Franco

Living in New York City (well, I live in a Brooklyn, but same diff) can be thrilling. Tonight was no exception.  So, today after an especially exhausting day at work, I met up with a pal of mine for dinner. We walked over to 8th ave and as we were walking, we stopped to look at a menu outside of a restaurant. We pondered over it for a bit, standing on the sidewalk, when I looked forward, and who should be crossing the street at that exact moment? JAMES FRANCO! It’s almost two weeks to the day that I first saw him. I saw him the Monday before Election day…he was walking down 6th avenue talking on his cell phone, laughing, carrying some books–he was carrying three books this time. I turned around and followed him for a block and a half. He didn’t notice (thankfully) and neither did anyone else, oddly enough. Anyways, when I saw him, I immediately put a death grip on my friend’s forearm and gasped, “Oh my God, that’s Jame’s Franco!” he then grabbed my arm, with his other hand, and we both took a step back, squealed silently, and began breathing heavily–because that’s just what you do in these situations. The rest is as follows:

My pal: Oh my God, what are we going to do?! Where is he going? We should follow him!

(James Franco almost bypasses deli, then decides to go in. Victor grabs my arm and pulls me down the sidewalk into the deli. James Franco is walking towards the back, to get an icy beverage.)

Me: I should go up to him! I should say something! I should get my picture with him! (at this point, I’m freaking out, because HELLO! it’s James Franco. Both Victor and I are both hyperventilating and grabbing hold of each other for support.)

Victor: You totally should, I’ll take the picture!

Me: Do you dare me to go up to him? Do you fucking dare me?! (Seriously, I was losing my shit. My brain fell on the floor and any ability to think logically was lost…as was the ability to form complete sentences.)

My Pal: I dare you!

Me: (I am peeking around a shelving unit to see where he is and I look back at Victor): I can’t do this!

(James Franco walks down the other side of the shelving unit that I am hiding behind. I look at him, he looks at me. I sort of put my hand out to stop him…as if I am a crossing guard directing traffic. He stops. I take a step forward.)

Me: I just wanted to say, that you’re James Franco. (He’s looking at me, through his  squinted eyes, he’s smiling. He has dimples.) I mean, you’re James Franco. I’m sorry I can’t think of anything better to say than the fact you’re James Franco.

James Franco: (Laughs softly. Not in a mocking way, in a genuine, warmed way and leans toward me.): What’s your name?

Me: (in my mind, I am freaking out, because he just asked me what my name was!) Meaghan.

James Franco: (sticks out his hand, we SHAKE HANDS. I TOUCHED JAMES FRANCO) It’s nice to meet you Meaghan.

Me: (I was trying to extended this moment for as long as possible, obviously) You were really great in Pineapple Express. (Yes. That’s the best example of his acting that I could come up with at the moment. You try sounding normal when looking at that face!)

James Franco: (smiling) Aww, well thank you.

Me: (I turn to walk away, because the last thing I would want if I were James Franco, is me at my geekiest, trying to engage me in conversation.) Well, it was really nice meeting. Have a good night.

James Franco: You too. (he smiles and walks over to get some coffee.)

I go over to my friend, who was hiding behind the shelves, just in case I did something really embarrassing,  and we freaked out. We both start giggling like little girls and he grabs my hand to get Franco germs.

Me: We should go. We don’t want to seem weird. (too late at this point really.)

So we are walking out of the deli, James Franco is getting his coffee and we see each other, I do a goodbye wave to him, and he smiles at me and WINKS. HE WINKED AT ME. I could have died. I could have just died.

I seriously, haven’t been this excited about a celebrity encounter since Ryan Gosling smiled and said hello to me in a bar. I only get excited about A-List–that’s a lie, because I got really excited the time I saw the actor who played Jared on The Pretender–and James Franco is A-LIST. I think my friend was impressed with my ability to approach James Franco. I know I was. Even though I was a complete basket case when I was talking to him. I’m just going to go ahead and say that James Franco seems like a really decent human being. He totally didn’t have to be nice to me, because it’s not like I’m some 8 year old girl that would be devastated if he was a jerk. He didn’t seemed bothered by me approaching him and having a complete spaz attack. He was very nice and if anything, I wish I had been less of a stammering Sally.

Next time I see him, I can be totally cool about it, and be like, “Hey, remember me? I totally spazzed out when I met you in a deli one time. I’m all better now. I see that you like to read, I like to read also.  Perhaps we can visit a library and pick out some books together?” I have this all planned out.

There is, sadly, no picture. Let a girl keep some of her dignity.

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