Ahmusings

The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Category: fitness

I Immediately Regret This Decision

I’m going to cut to the chase–I’m supposed to run/speed walk/craw/jog the Marine Corps Marathon in October. How I got here is not important. I take full responsibility for allowing my friend to register me. Although, I didn’t think she was going to be able to, since website for registration kept going down. I was feeling smug because I had done a triathlon sprint just a handful of months before.

With all of that said: I AM SO FUCKING FUCKED.

Reasons Why I Should Not Run a Marathon

  1. I took a long break from running
  2. Due to that long break, I suck at running.
  3. Running sucks.
  4. I’m a few weeks behind on my training plan.
  5. It’s hot and humid outside.
  6. I will die.

Reasons Why I Should Run a Marathon

  1. I bought new running shoes.

You can see my problem. I have FIVE more reasons why I SHOULDN’T do it versus the one that I should. How do I get out of this? Is it too late to back out? Do I suck it up, train as much as I can and drop out at mile 10? What is the etiquette here?

Biggest Loser Recap: Episode 9

I present to you my thoughts on Week Nine of The Biggest Loser in Haiku* form.

 

Temptations at home
Buddy buys a chili dog
Doesn’t eat it, so dumb.

Huey out with friends
They all order beer, what jerks
who’s the hot guy?

Cassandra freaks out
over cookie dough of course
calm down you psycho

Awful sounds abound
Fuck, Chism has a jam band
Lord, make it stop please

Chism goes home, tears
Yikes that outfit is terrible
Skinny jeans, not good.

And there you have it, another week closer to this bullshit finally being over! I’m so sick of these people! It’s been 9 weeks where all they do is work out and eat what people tell them and like 90% of them are still WAY fat. I don’t get it! Also, this weeks weigh in was some sort of dramatic acting showcase! The speech, the tears, the “no send me home instead. Fine! Then get two tickets because I’m going with him!” It’s like these people are vying for an Oscar. Lord. I cannot wait until I never have to see these people again. And if Chism’s band becomes famous, I will DIE.

*I checked and triple checked those damn syllables. So don’t even try and tell me these are not Haikus!; because they are now!

Biggest Loser Recap: Episode 8

 

I present to you my thoughts on Week Eight of The Biggest Loser in Haiku* form.

They lack self control
Daphne hoses pb cups, revenge
A storm is coming

Daphne pulls a switch
Not so anonymus, everyone suspects
Of course Conda is whining

Black team is the worst
Now that Winter Witch  is here
Conda gains a pound, figures

Daphne gets the boot
Conda runs her mouth, never shuts up
Please let her be next

Another week down at the Biggest Loser ranch and Conda is still the most annoying, person on the planet! When will she go home?! I hate her. She is seriously ruining this show. Tune in next week!!

*I checked and triple checked those damn syllables. So don’t even try and tell me these are not Haikus!; because they are now!

%d bloggers like this: