The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: 5k

Running Wild

Yesterday I ran my first 5K in the Valentine’s 5K run in Prospect Park. It was pretty awesome. I finished with a time of 32:34 and even got a flower for being one of top 150 females finishers. This race is the first of many leading up to a Triathlon sprint in July.

I was pretty nervous the morning of the race. I just didn’t want to finish last. I’ve finished last before, way back in elementary school in a track event. Oh man, was that the worst. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but you know you’ve reached a low point when your mom is running along side of you so you’ll finish. I had to prove to my nine or ten-year-old self that I could indeed finish this race without embarrassing myself. And I did!

So when I picked up my bib for the race, I was looking around the room at all the runners. Some of these people, to me, seemed like they might be taking this whole 5K thing a little too seriously…making me think I was screwed. Then I spotted my savior. A slightly goofy looking dude with high-water track pants and mutton chops. He was walking in circles and then he sort of stumbled over his feet. I know how awful this sounds, but at that moment my confidence surged. I no longer had any fear that I was going to come in last place, because I knew I could at least beat this guy. To make myself sound like a less horrible person: I admire anyone who has the balls/boobs? to sign up and show up for a race. It’s kind of scary and the only thing that matters is that you finish. It doesn’t matter how you finish or when you finish, just that you finish. But lets be honest, it’s always nice when someone is worse than you at something. It gives you that small bit of self-assurance you need, to say, “I can fucking do this.”

There were all types of people there running: young, old, fat, thin, kids, couples, lonely old hags (me!). I put on my Blood Bros: First Blood mix and I was ready to fucking go.  Did I mention it was freezing outside? I think I ran a little faster than normal just so I wouldn’t have to be outside for longer than I had to.

There’s a pretty big hill in Prospect Park that sucks to run up. I ran up it. I’m not gonna lie, I walked for like 30 seconds when I got to the top of it, but so were other people! Which was awesome because it makes you realize that other people suck at running up hills too.

As I was in the final stretch, this part of the megamix came on:

At that moment I could see the finish line and I was like, “I AM THE BEST AROUND! NO IS EVER GOING TO KEEP ME DOWN!” I started running a little faster thinking of the Karate Kid and how he was an underdog and if he could beat that asshole, I could finish this race strong.

Then the last couple of meters of the race, right as I’m about to cross the finish line, this song comes on:

How awesome is that?! I think everyone knows how I feel about Stallone and the Rocky franchise. I was even wearing a Rocky t-shirt!

And you know what? I did fly. I flew across that fucking finish line like a champ.

And then I doubled over from the pain in my side and burning in my lungs.

On to the next race!


That’s sort of my mood today folks.

I did make it out of my apartment today and into the city, so I think that’s sort of an accomplishment? I walked around for a little bit trying to clear my mind of negative thoughts…but was only half successful.

I have a lot of things going for me: Soon I will have a Master’s degree, I’m funny (a majority of the time), smart, independent, creative, stunning (according to that weird guy on OkCupid). Yet lately I can only seem to focus on the negative. I don’t know what it is, but I’m hoping that I will be able to break out of this funk soon. It’s no fun!

You know what is fun? Trollin’ the OkCupid profiles of men in the NYC area. Things just don’t look all that good. How come all these guys seemed to stop growing at 5’7″? And why are the ones that managed to break that barrier all weird and bro-ey? I seriously need a better hobby.

I recently signed up for a 5K race that takes place in October. This will be my first one. I am really excited about it. However, I just started jogging recently. I’m not very fast and don’t go for very far yet. And I’ve been slacking. I know I need to be gearing up for this because I want to finish with a respectable time (more so just finish at this point!). I’m having a little trouble getting motivated recently. I was doing good for a while and then I started slacking off for whatever reasons I was making up at the time. Any runners out there have a tips for a newb? I’m doing this to challenge myself and to make up for sucking at p.e. in middle school! I’ll show them!

Funny story about me being on the track team in maybe 4th or 5th grade:

I was participating in some event that involved me running around the track maybe once or twice. The details are a little hazy at this point. But lets just say I was shaped a little something like this back then:


Slow down tubby, you're not on the moon yet!


Anyways, for some reason I was on the track team and was running an event at one of our meets. Well, after one time around the track (or maybe even half way, really, it was probably half way) I. was. struggling. I wanted to give up. I think I even stopped. I may have even started crying. Ha! Right?! Well, guess who comes up along side of the track to motivate me? My mom. That’s right, my mom started clapping and cheering for me until I got going again…she even ran alongside the track cheering me on. It was truly a sight to behold.

Well, there will be none of that at this 5k. I am going to finish this strong! I just need to get my feet to the pavement. Wish me luck!


::image from Eye On Springfield::

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