Ahmusings

The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: cats

Favorite Thing: Morbidly Obese Cats

It’s Saturday again and that means it’s time for another one of my favorite things. This week, I’m sharing my love for morbidly obese cats.

 

All time favorite!

 

I don’t know what it is about obese cats that I love so much, but they are just so god damn amazing. I think being an obese cat is like the animal equivalent to a human wearing sweatpants to their office job; they just don’t give a fuck. Or their owners don’t give a fuck that they are basically killing their cat–it’s a fine line. However, look how cute they are! They look all surly and like they want a motorized scooter to get around in.

 

Diet starts monday!

 

One of my favorite things about obese cats is when they meow. It doesn’t really sound like a “meow”. It ends up sounding more like a “mow”. Like they don’t even have the energy to meow properly and they don’t care. They aren’t trying to please anyone.

I leave you with this video. I can’t decide if it is some weird kind of animal fetish porn or not. But boy does this obese cat love to luxuriate!

This is what I’ve become

I am apparently a single, mid-40’s, woman in the very early 90s. I may or may not own cats. But I definitely own a sweatshirt with a cat on it. It has glitter on it, I can guarantee that.

I’ll tell you why.

I watched Three Men and a Baby (1987) while eating a pint of Haagan Daazs. AND I ENJOYED IT. Ya’ll can judge if you want, but that movie is fantastic. Danson, Selleck, Guttenberg? Selleck in shorty shorts. Montages. Plus that apartment they live in in the movie is SICK. I highly recommend you watch this film if you haven’t already. Leonard FUCKING Nimoy directed it. Yes, you read the previous sentence correctly. You should follow it up with Three Men and a Little Lady (1990).  You’re going to want to be all caught up for when THREE MEN AND A BRIDE, which is in development, comes out in 2012. I can’t wait! I’ve got a cat t-shirt and matching scrunchy picked out and ready to go.

Seriously you guys, I’m not joking. I’ve already placed my order for this beaut:

How hot am I going to look?!

 

I’m okay with where my life is headed. It’s like my life is following the Kübler-Ross Model. I’ve moved on from depression and am now on to acceptance. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am going to be wearing a kitten shirt. There are some things you just can’t fight.

::Buy all your cat shirts at Animal Shirts::

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