Ahmusings

The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: depression

Dreary.

That’s sort of my mood today folks.

I did make it out of my apartment today and into the city, so I think that’s sort of an accomplishment? I walked around for a little bit trying to clear my mind of negative thoughts…but was only half successful.

I have a lot of things going for me: Soon I will have a Master’s degree, I’m funny (a majority of the time), smart, independent, creative, stunning (according to that weird guy on OkCupid). Yet lately I can only seem to focus on the negative. I don’t know what it is, but I’m hoping that I will be able to break out of this funk soon. It’s no fun!

You know what is fun? Trollin’ the OkCupid profiles of men in the NYC area. Things just don’t look all that good. How come all these guys seemed to stop growing at 5’7″? And why are the ones that managed to break that barrier all weird and bro-ey? I seriously need a better hobby.

I recently signed up for a 5K race that takes place in October. This will be my first one. I am really excited about it. However, I just started jogging recently. I’m not very fast and don’t go for very far yet. And I’ve been slacking. I know I need to be gearing up for this because I want to finish with a respectable time (more so just finish at this point!). I’m having a little trouble getting motivated recently. I was doing good for a while and then I started slacking off for whatever reasons I was making up at the time. Any runners out there have a tips for a newb? I’m doing this to challenge myself and to make up for sucking at p.e. in middle school! I’ll show them!

Funny story about me being on the track team in maybe 4th or 5th grade:

I was participating in some event that involved me running around the track maybe once or twice. The details are a little hazy at this point. But lets just say I was shaped a little something like this back then:

 

Slow down tubby, you're not on the moon yet!

 

Anyways, for some reason I was on the track team and was running an event at one of our meets. Well, after one time around the track (or maybe even half way, really, it was probably half way) I. was. struggling. I wanted to give up. I think I even stopped. I may have even started crying. Ha! Right?! Well, guess who comes up along side of the track to motivate me? My mom. That’s right, my mom started clapping and cheering for me until I got going again…she even ran alongside the track cheering me on. It was truly a sight to behold.

Well, there will be none of that at this 5k. I am going to finish this strong! I just need to get my feet to the pavement. Wish me luck!

 

::image from Eye On Springfield::

It’s so hard to say goodbye…

to my homey. My days of playing tour guide are officially over. I got back a little while ago from seeing my BFF off at the airport. Now it’s back to dullsville for me.

I’m feeling a crushing blow of loneliness right now, so ya’ll will just have to bear with me. There’s something about spending quality time with your best friend that just doesn’t compare to anything else. Being able to show her NYC and the new part of my life all while cracking inside jokes from billions of years ago–that’s what friendship is about. It’s too bad we live on opposite sides of the country. Sometimes I don’t feel like I have that here in New York. Some good friends from college live in other states, a lot of my friends are married/engaged/or in long-term relationships. It gets hard being by yourself. I probably impose the seclusion on myself, who knows. But sometimes even when you are with people, you still feel lonely.  Some days just feel lonelier than others. Maybe this is a feeling that is unique to New York residents. I don’t know. Any of you readers out there from different states experience this?

Anyways, now that I’ve bared my soul for everyone. It’s time to get back to drowning my sorrows in episodes of Futurama and bowls of Cheerios. Seriously. This is my 2nd or 3rd time around watching Futurama. I pretty much have these episodes memorized. Two things I’m actually glad about in relation to not having a guest at my house: I can sleep in my bed again. I was nice enough to sleep on the couch! It’s only a love seat, and since I’m not 5’1″, I can’t really sleep super comfortably on it. Also, I can drink water as my main source of hydration again. For the past few days when I have woken up, my mouth has felt like a cotton ball.

Now I’m just waiting for a text message from a man…I’m trying not a get my hopes up about this, because we all know how well it ends when I think things are going good. But I do like him. Shocking, considering I am so judgmental and picky. The wait is stressin’ me out, man. I should just hide my phone and not look at it until tomorrow afternoon. And then throw it across the room and collapse into sobs when I realize I have no new text messages.

I’m just joshin’ ya! About the throwing my phone part. Ha!

I’ve been found out

Netflix figured out they were sending me three dvds at a time, instead of the two that I’m allowed. I am crushed. It all started with a broken copy of The Man Who Would be King. I reported it as broken and they sent me a replacement immediately. I guess when they got the broken copy back, they blindly sent me the next movie I had in my queue. But I still had two movies at home…my replacement copy of The Man Who Would be King and some crappy movie I can’t remember. This went on for almost two weeks! It was glorious! I always had a dvd to watch. And then they took it away from me. I mean they raise the prices and they can’t even do me the courtesy of letting me scam them for a little longer?

WHY IS EVERYTHING GOOD IN MY LIFE ALWAYS TAKEN AWAY FROM ME?!

All caps felt necessary.

Sorry this is all I can muster up. I was cleaning my apartment and am now brain dead. My best friend from back home is coming to visit and I don’t want her to think I live in a slum. I mean, I sort of do. I just want to see if I can fool her into thinking otherwise. Hopefully while she is here I will be able to keep up this blogging momentum that I have. The posts will probably be shorter but I will definitely try. There will definitely be a post about me trying to relive my ‘tween (they didn’t have that word when I was actually in that age group) years by going to a NKOTBSB on Sunday with my BFF. Ya’ll are going to want to stick around for that one.

I want it that way. 90’s hairstyles and all

::photo taken by Sara over at The Girl Can’t Help It::

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