The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: dreams

Biggest Loser Recap: Episode 10


I present to you my thoughts on Week Nine of The Biggest Loser in Haiku* form.

The teams switch trainers
Here we go with the crying
Stop being babies!


Dolvett in tights this week, yes!
He could train me any day
Guys, more of this please.


Conda such a two faced snake
Claims she doesn’t play the game. Right.
Such a fat liar.


Just a fat dreamer
Don’t let New York crush you
You skinny now girl.

Seriously you guys, is this season over yet? I am so done with all of these people. I actually really felt bad for Cassandra and the way she was sent home. Conda is such a two-faced, little bitch, who so desperately wants to be part of the boys club that it’s annoying. Cassandra definitely deserved to be there over Chris or Megan. THEY LOST ONE POUND EACH! Are you kidding me?! I can relate to Cassandra a little bit, I was just a fat dreamer, who wanted to move to NYC too! And I did! And now I’m not fat! But NYC still crushes my soul a little bit every day, so, watch out girl! Also, how dumb was that clip of her looking for apartments using a NEWSPAPER!? Are you kidding me with this shit? Seriously, try craigslist. It’s what people on a budget use.

*I checked and triple checked those damn syllables. So don’t even try and tell me these are not Haikus!; because they are now!


Finally. The post that all of you have been waiting for and the moment I have been waiting to relive. For those of you just checking this blog out for the first time or perhaps aren’t hip to the supergroup jive: NKOTBSB is the joining of two boyband forces. New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys. I was lucky enough to experience this concert with my best friend on July 31st, 2011 at the Nassau Coliseum. This was probably one of the greatest things that I will ever have had the opportunity to witness.

Just a little back story: My best friend and I have been Backstreet Boy fans since we were 11 years old. We had hundreds of posters on our walls, bought every t-shirt we could find at Sam Goody/Musicland, bought all their videos (our favorite was Backstreet Boys: The Video), and would most likely annoy everyone within a close radius with our incessant talking about them and how much we loved them. We even made a video for the show FANatic on MTV. We never sent it in. It was pretty much an hour of us rambling and looking (me especially) incredibly dorky. Growing up in Alaska, we were doomed to never get very close to them. Our day finally came in October of 1999 when we got to see them during the Into the Millennium Tour at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. At the time, we thought that was the greatest moment of our lives. If only we knew what was going to happen 12 years later.


I think it’s best to sort of tell the rest of this story with a mix of pictures and text. Our faces tell the real story.

So on Sunday July 31st, 2011 we woke up with the knowledge that soon we would be breathing the same air as our ‘tween celebrity crushes. Late in the afternoon after we had gotten back from brunch, we decided it would probably be best if we started drinking. My friend coined it “NKOTBSBgamin'”. We fixed our faces, hair, and outfits with BSB music as our getting ready soundtrack. When the cab came to pick us up to take us to the Coliseum we were out the door like lightening.

Us in the cab. Bursting with excitement!

When we got to the Coliseum there was a super long line to get in.


There were two girls behind us who were super annoying and made us feel old. I say ‘girls’ because they couldn’t have been more than 15 years old. In other words, they were too young for this to have any real meaning for them! They were taking up valuable space. One of the girls mentioned something about listening to Spice Girls when she was “younger”. Um? How young? Your mom playing “Wanna Be” while she was pregnant with you, DOES NOT COUNT. I take this very seriously! I alienated a lot of people with my obsession! I BREATHED Backstreet Boys 24/7 for a lot of years. Don’t ruin this for me little girl!

After a few minutes of feeling old, we finally got inside and laid our eyes on the merch table.

So many choices!

This is us excited about the prospect of memorabilia:

We ended up making this face a lot that night.

After we paid for some memories we hit the alcohol stand. I wish we had been able to bring our own since a 24oz can of LaBatt Blue was $13. Also, limit one per customer! Ha! They obviously think we are stupid. Just go to a different counter to buy your second can. Their regulation system needs some work.

I had to buy a shirt.

Obviously I had buy a shirt. I think it’s progress that I bought one without any faces on it. We sat outside in the “beer tent” to kill some time before the show started.

The opening act was Matthew Morrison. Yes. That Matthew Morrison. Mr. Schuester from Glee. What’s weird is that the first BSB concert we went to had two opening acts. One was Mandy Moore and the other was this cheesy boy band (ha! I have standards) called LMNT. And I am pretty sure that Matthew Morrison was in that band for half a second. We officially came full circle. To be honest, he wasn’t half bad. I realize that this makes me super old. But I think we’ve already determined I’m a middle-aged woman with questionable tastes anyways. I wasn’t even that skeeved out by him rapping “Gold Digger”. There are obviously lots of things wrong with me. It did bother me that he played the Ukulele a lot. And that he pronounced it “oo-kulele”. But for the most part I was blinded by his dance moves.

Almost time!!

One of the funniest things about the concert is that the Nassau Coliseum had the foresight to convert most of its men’s restrooms into ladies’ rooms.

Obviously, they knew the target audience for this show.



The concert was amazing. They alternated between being on stage separately and being on stage together. All those boys can still move! We were also pretty close to the action as well. Mainly because two weirdos were sitting in our seats so we just stood down by the railing of our section. Better seats than what was paid for! I think I screamed more at this concert than I did at the one when I was 14. The 48oz of LaBatt, might have contributed slightly to that.

I think our faces pretty much explain everything.

So…here’s the part where a 26 year old woman cries at a boy band concert.

They brought audience members on stage! I WASN’T ONE OF THEM!

During the song “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” (ironic, considering they broke it a million times over at that moment!) BSB went down into the audience and picked four girls to come on stage with them to be serenaded. At that moment I started tearing up. It was pathetic. I was actually upset! Very! I had tears dripping down my face because I was essentially watching a dream of mine and my best friend’s die right in front of my eyes. There was a finality to it. I’m 26. These guys aren’t going to be touring forever and this felt like a last chance. It’s hard watching your dreams die! Even the stupid ones that you know were probably never going to come true. Up until that moment, I still had a little hope that meeting them was possible. Seeing that, it just killed it. It’s hard being an adult sometimes and accepting reality. It was much easier living in the delusions of my youth. I much prefer it to this often shitty reality that I find myself stuck in.

Well, after my little quarter-life crisis breakdown, it was back to screaming and dancing. NKOTBSB really knows how to put on a show. They even brought out Bell Biv Devoe! Crazy! This concert will definitely be something that stays in my memory for a very, very long time as one of the best nights of my life. So far, I don’t see much competition to unseat it.

Here’s a little video of them performing “As Long as You Love Me”. I used my phone to capture this…so profesh, I know.

Hopefully in another 12 or so years, these guys will be hard up for a gig and won’t mind playing in my apartment for $100. DREAMS CAN COME TRUE.

Also, I just enabled my OkCupid profile, so you all have that to look forward to now.

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