Ahmusings

The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: Education

Practical Advice for Future Fashion Interns

In dishonor of New York Fashion Week (Feb 9th-16th) I am going to be sharing some fashion related thoughts with all of you throughout the week. As a note, I have a degree in Fashion Design and spent some time working for various fashion companies. It was the worst. I continue to have opinions about fashion, the main one being: Seriously, what the fuck are you wearing? So for the next week don your best headband and enjoy the ride.

This is how young women see fashion internships:

And this is how fashion internships actually are:

I am using this .gif because your brain will either explode from the sheer stupidity you are surrounded by or you will be wishing that other people’s heads would be exploding. It’s frustrating, tiring, boring, not what you think it will be, and rarely does it ever go anywhere.

I’ve had my fair share of internships. I had a merchandising internship at Kappa. Which basically meant I did data entry and packed and unpacked a showroom. The only good thing about that internship was that the Heatherette offices were on the same floor and I got to hear Richie Rich make fun of J.Lo. I did a product development internship at Fred Flare. I can honestly say that this was probably the best internship that I had. The people that worked there were friendly and they listened to your ideas. The woman who supervised me was really awesome and helped me get some of my own stuff sold on the website. My career as a shoe designer was brief! I interned for a hat designer. Probably the worst internship ever. She was kind of a troll and not very friendly at all. She smoked in the office while hobbling around in high heeled rainboots, drinking from a 2-liter bottle of diet coke. She would call me at 11pm at night asking for things. She basically used interns to staff her company so she wouldn’t have to shell out for actual employees. I now actually work in the same building as her offices. We shared the elevator the other day. It was weird. I’ve interned for this lady. The idea of interning there was pretty fun. And in general the people were friendly and I got to do some interesting stuff like, take a bag of her stuff to her apartment. I met a good friend of mine/former roommate while interning there. I also a got a purse at the end of it…albeit from her lower-priced collection which if you averaged it out meant that I was earning roughly $1 a day. I interned in the wardrobe department of What Not To Wear. It was a lot of buying things and then returning it. Lots and lots of returning. I even got yelled at by an employee at Bloomingdale’s for trying to return something. And you never get to take cabs. Ever. Even in really bad weather. Clinton Kelly is really nice though.

Look at all that experience! And look at me now! In graduate school pursuing a degree in Library Science. There is a lot of competition in NYC for these internships–there were girls interning at Betsey Johnson who didn’t even live in NYC. They came specifically to intern there. THEY WEREN’T GETTING PAID! They were basically paying to intern. I will say this for Betsey, she has been known to hire interns, so that’s a plus. I just wasn’t one of them. Probably for the best.

I kind of think interning is a scam. Especially in fashion. They will work you to the bone because they know they can. They know that if you quit, there is another girl ready and waiting to go fetch some coffee at 9am. Here’s a few things that I learned while I was interning:

  • Dress like a jackass. Wear a fucking cape and a headband, because these people’s heads are so far up their asses they will think you look good.
  • Don’t commit to more than 2 days a week. Honestly, you shouldn’t be interning for more than one day a week anyways since you’re not getting paid, but I know how badly you want this.
  • Don’t work for more than 8 hours a day. You are not getting paid, therefore you do not have to work overtime. I know you think it will make you look good, but it’s not worth it. They won’t even remember that you stayed late sewing roses onto a dress. Trust me.
  • You’re going to get blamed for something. Even if it’s not really your fault. You’re the lowest on the totem pole, that’s just the way things go. So either don’t make mistakes or don’t intern…or basically work anywhere, ever.
  • If you don’t like the way you are being treated, just fucking quit. Honestly, you aren’t getting paid, they aren’t going to offer you a job afterwards, and you don’t even have to put them on your resume.
  • You’re probably going to find something really cool, like fabric, or a trim that they decide to use. Don’t expect to get any credit for it.
  • Don’t intern for someone that nobody has ever heard of. No matter how cool you think it will be. You’ll have better luck getting an interview or hired at someplace if you have a big name on your resume.
  • You’re going to hate a lot of the other interns. Trust me on this. Do your best to pretend to like them. It’ll be hard, but you can always talk shit about them later.

So, here is my final piece of advice for you young women out there trying to claw your way to the top of the fashion food chain:

ALWAYS GO TO PARIS.

Societal Observation

There is something about all-black, leather New Balances that communicates a developmental disability.

Twitter Fight: Round Two!

Oh my gosh you guys! My Twitter fight really took off after I went to sleep last night. Not only did he tweet at me, but someone else got involved too! As far as I can tell @thomaswhardy is some sort of Australian Libertarian who believes that a woman’s womb is her own.

This just got crazy in the past hour! I’ll do my best to recreate the play-by-play. This is better than the Superbowl if you want my honest opinion.

So after letting his tweet sink in for a few minutes and then punishing myself with reading his other tweets, I cam across these two gems.

Previously I had been debating about whether or not to keep tweeting at him, but since it’s Sunday and I want to wait until the last possible minute to start that paper, I thought I’d go ahead and goad this person a little further.

Obviously, I know just what to say to get a response.

Oh! The typo to end all typos! That’s like when Santorum said “Black people” but insisted he said “Bleaugh people” as if that was any better. Also the whole 3 of 4 and 6 to 10…where is he getting that figure? By his calculations three men are producing 2 to 3 babies at a time and then aborting all of them. If that’s the case, where are all these children I see every day, coming from?!

(editor’s note: I am so mad at myself for not proofreading that above tweet more carefully!)

Reading comprehension is pretty low on the internet. Those two above tweets go together, but you wouldn’t realize it considering that nowhere did I “blame” men.

Guys, just do yourself a favor and don’t Google “blackgenocide.org”. It’s not worth it. I did have the “guts” to read it and under their mission they have Deuteronomy 30:19 listed. In case you’re wondering what that is:

King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)
I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live

Now, really, that could be taken to mean a number of things. Like, “hey man, don’t kill yourself, you have kids to take care of” or something like that. It almost seems unlikely that the Bible would be addressing a woman directly, since they were thought of so highly back then. /sarcasm.

Well, TheFlaCracker’s tweet inspired one of my most favorite tweets I have ever written:

Oh man…I know it’s not cool to laugh at your own jokes, but damn! I was on fire.

A thinly veiled threat, maybe? I’m not really sure how threats on the internet work. I mean, I watched Cyberbu//y on ABCFamily, but all I got out of it was that the worst thing you can call a girl on the internet is a “whore.”

So, I decided I was going to put a stop to everything. Because, seriously you guys, I need to write this paper. It’s due tomorrow.

I was trying to bow out gracefully. I mean, I said “good day!” Which obviously means nothing, because 23 minutes later he comes back at me with these!

and my personal favorite

As the mature, 26 year old woman that I am, I’ve decided not to fan the flames of this giant moron any longer. Well, I did tweet on more thing at him, @modestmeaghan It was fun while it lasted. No one ever really “wins” on the internet, but it’s safe to say that I will be able to move on from this and he will probably still be tweeting from his parent’s basement in Tampa for the next billion years.

I SAID,  “GOOD DAY!”

 

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