Ahmusings

The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: feminism

Fashion Week

In dishonor of New York Fashion Week (Feb 9th-16th) I am going to be sharing some fashion related thoughts with all of you throughout the week. As a note, I have a degree in Fashion Design and spent some time working for various fashion companies. It was the worst. I continue to have opinions about fashion, the main one being: Seriously, what the fuck are you wearing? So for the next week don your best headband and enjoy the ride.

When I see girls in ridiculously high heels in inappropriate situations I often find myself willing their ankles to snap. I know it’s not very nice of me, but it’s also not very nice what they are doing to their feet, ankles, knees, and back.

Why for the love of all that is good in the world, would you ever need to be wearing 5-inch heels to be walking around New York City or ANY PLACE for the matter? There is no good reason, because it’s not necessary. You look like you’re trying too hard. Like way too hard. No one likes that.

According to a study by researchers at a Griffith University in Australia conducted on women who have been wearing heels for at least 40 hours a week for over a period of two years,

” the scientists found that heel wearers moved with shorter, more forceful strides than the control group, their feet perpetually in a flexed, toes-pointed position. This movement pattern continued even when the women kicked off their heels and walked barefoot. As a result, the fibers in their calf muscles had shortened and they put much greater mechanical strain on their calf muscles”

All of this leads to straight to a Liberty motor scooter! Your ankles will be broken, your toes will be hammered, and no man will ever love you because your feet look like a combination of Frodo Baggins and the Elephant Man.

Now, I’m not saying, “don’t ever wear high heels.”  I own a few good pairs myself and put them on occasionally when I like to pretend that I’m glamorous. But as with anything, do it in moderation. No one looks good hobbling down the street at 2 am because their heels are too high. It ain’t cute. Standing up straight and being able to outrun your attackers, is.

Twitter Fight: Round Two!

Oh my gosh you guys! My Twitter fight really took off after I went to sleep last night. Not only did he tweet at me, but someone else got involved too! As far as I can tell @thomaswhardy is some sort of Australian Libertarian who believes that a woman’s womb is her own.

This just got crazy in the past hour! I’ll do my best to recreate the play-by-play. This is better than the Superbowl if you want my honest opinion.

So after letting his tweet sink in for a few minutes and then punishing myself with reading his other tweets, I cam across these two gems.

Previously I had been debating about whether or not to keep tweeting at him, but since it’s Sunday and I want to wait until the last possible minute to start that paper, I thought I’d go ahead and goad this person a little further.

Obviously, I know just what to say to get a response.

Oh! The typo to end all typos! That’s like when Santorum said “Black people” but insisted he said “Bleaugh people” as if that was any better. Also the whole 3 of 4 and 6 to 10…where is he getting that figure? By his calculations three men are producing 2 to 3 babies at a time and then aborting all of them. If that’s the case, where are all these children I see every day, coming from?!

(editor’s note: I am so mad at myself for not proofreading that above tweet more carefully!)

Reading comprehension is pretty low on the internet. Those two above tweets go together, but you wouldn’t realize it considering that nowhere did I “blame” men.

Guys, just do yourself a favor and don’t Google “blackgenocide.org”. It’s not worth it. I did have the “guts” to read it and under their mission they have Deuteronomy 30:19 listed. In case you’re wondering what that is:

King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)
I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live

Now, really, that could be taken to mean a number of things. Like, “hey man, don’t kill yourself, you have kids to take care of” or something like that. It almost seems unlikely that the Bible would be addressing a woman directly, since they were thought of so highly back then. /sarcasm.

Well, TheFlaCracker’s tweet inspired one of my most favorite tweets I have ever written:

Oh man…I know it’s not cool to laugh at your own jokes, but damn! I was on fire.

A thinly veiled threat, maybe? I’m not really sure how threats on the internet work. I mean, I watched Cyberbu//y on ABCFamily, but all I got out of it was that the worst thing you can call a girl on the internet is a “whore.”

So, I decided I was going to put a stop to everything. Because, seriously you guys, I need to write this paper. It’s due tomorrow.

I was trying to bow out gracefully. I mean, I said “good day!” Which obviously means nothing, because 23 minutes later he comes back at me with these!

and my personal favorite

As the mature, 26 year old woman that I am, I’ve decided not to fan the flames of this giant moron any longer. Well, I did tweet on more thing at him, @modestmeaghan It was fun while it lasted. No one ever really “wins” on the internet, but it’s safe to say that I will be able to move on from this and he will probably still be tweeting from his parent’s basement in Tampa for the next billion years.

I SAID,  “GOOD DAY!”

 

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