Ahmusings

The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: food

TLC, You’ve Done It Again

Tonight TLC is infotaining America with another episode of My-600-lb Life.

TLC, are you kidding me with this shit? Do you have a room full of morbidly obese people that you keep locked up for when you run out of reality series ideas? What number are we on now? Half-ton Teen, Half-ton Mom, Half-ton Dad, Obese & Pregnant, One Big Happy Family, World’s Heaviest Man, The 650-lb Virgin, Heavily Ever After, World’s Fattest Man (not to be confused with World’s Heaviest!)…and these are just the one’s that I can remember off the top of my head. That’s ten shows. TEN!!! About seriously, morbidly obese people! How are people still interested in this?

Do people actually watch these and go, “Oh hayyyy, I’m fat too! I better change my diet and get some exercise so I don’t end up on a TLC show!” No! We watch these shows because we know we aren’t as large as the people they are exploiting.

Who keeps pitching the same idea over and over again at development meetings? Do they sit around and stare at each other and go, “Well, we haven’t filmed some obese people cleaning out a buffet in six-months, I think it’s time we got back on that.” And everyone just nods their heads in agreement?

I’m beginning to think TLC has a serious fat-fetish. Like this.

Sacred Stall

Known better by it’s scientific name: Stallus defecationious.

It’s your comfort zone. The one place you go to during the work day where you know you can get some quiet. Where you rush to when your morning coffee has tickled your bowels loose. It’s your favorite bathroom stall. Your pooping stall.

Pooping at work is the best. It always feels like you are putting one over on the place/people you work for. As if you just don’t care enough to hold it in and give yourself colon cancer. You don’t respect your workplace enough anymore to do them that favor.

But for some, it’s a shameful secret.

Don’t fret little ones, you are not alone. Join the millions of workplace poopers.

Ego Boost

Well my little gems, I successfully survived my first class of the semester. I kept yawning through the whole thing, but I survived.

I’m so tired! Work and school on the same day, I think my body is in shock.

I figured I would relay this entertaining little tidbit from my day. During my lunch break, my coworker and I decided to hit up a little cafe a couple of blocks away. We use lunch as an excuse to get out of the office and refresh our brains. Normally,  I bring something to eat and we sit in this little pavement park and scope out dudes. It’s the little things that make getting through the day worth it. Today, on our way back to the office we were walking and this posse of three teenagers (maybe? Trying to tell how old someone is, is getting to be too hard.) was walking towards us. There were two girls and a boy. The boy looked a little bit like he could have been a skateboarder in 90’s hailing from California. Now, this kid looked at me kind of intently and then says as he’s passing, “You have a really nice face”. That little asshole made my day! I said, “Uh, thanks?” and continued on my way.

Too bad he appeared to be too young for me. I could be out on a date right now.

I have my Rare Books class at the NYPL tomorrow night…I’ll fill you in on what it’s like to be in a library after hours!

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