Ahmusings

The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: Haiku

Biggest Loser Recap: Episode 9

I present to you my thoughts on Week Nine of The Biggest Loser in Haiku* form.

 

Temptations at home
Buddy buys a chili dog
Doesn’t eat it, so dumb.

Huey out with friends
They all order beer, what jerks
who’s the hot guy?

Cassandra freaks out
over cookie dough of course
calm down you psycho

Awful sounds abound
Fuck, Chism has a jam band
Lord, make it stop please

Chism goes home, tears
Yikes that outfit is terrible
Skinny jeans, not good.

And there you have it, another week closer to this bullshit finally being over! I’m so sick of these people! It’s been 9 weeks where all they do is work out and eat what people tell them and like 90% of them are still WAY fat. I don’t get it! Also, this weeks weigh in was some sort of dramatic acting showcase! The speech, the tears, the “no send me home instead. Fine! Then get two tickets because I’m going with him!” It’s like these people are vying for an Oscar. Lord. I cannot wait until I never have to see these people again. And if Chism’s band becomes famous, I will DIE.

*I checked and triple checked those damn syllables. So don’t even try and tell me these are not Haikus!; because they are now!

Biggest Loser Recap: Episode 8

 

I present to you my thoughts on Week Eight of The Biggest Loser in Haiku* form.

They lack self control
Daphne hoses pb cups, revenge
A storm is coming

Daphne pulls a switch
Not so anonymus, everyone suspects
Of course Conda is whining

Black team is the worst
Now that Winter Witch  is here
Conda gains a pound, figures

Daphne gets the boot
Conda runs her mouth, never shuts up
Please let her be next

Another week down at the Biggest Loser ranch and Conda is still the most annoying, person on the planet! When will she go home?! I hate her. She is seriously ruining this show. Tune in next week!!

*I checked and triple checked those damn syllables. So don’t even try and tell me these are not Haikus!; because they are now!

Biggest Loser Recap: Episode 7

I present to you my thoughts on Week Six of The Biggest Loser in Haiku* form.

Dolvett and Conda in her hometown
Conda has daddy issues, surprise
We all still hate you

Teammates write nice words
Must have been hard to find them
Since she sucks so bad.

Daphne climbing stairs
Hardwork, revenge for your bro
Put an end to Conda please

Red loses weigh in, duh
Bold lies at voting always
Stop with the fake tears

People can’t vote right
A sharp knife in Santa’s back
No presents this year

There you have it guys! All you needed to know about this week’s episode of The Biggest Loser! Let me know what you think in the comments! Hopefully next week will be the end of Conda! Can we all agree that she is the worst thing to happen to biggest loser since John last season?

*I checked and triple checked those damn syllables. So don’t even try and tell me these are not Haikus!; because they are now!

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