The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: online dating

This Week in Searches

Oy. It’s Friday again. It’s been a long week folks, between moving, working, and starting classes, I am beat. It looks like it is going to be an interesting semester. I can already tell there’s at least one person in each of my classes that I’m not going to be able to stand. We’ll see how it goes. Also, I have a date tonight with another OkCupid dweller. So it’s quite possible I won’t even be able to finish out the semester because my body will be hacked into little pieces and floating around the East River. Wish me luck? Also, this is a different guy than the one I went out with a week or two ago…the normal one. I’m not really picturing that going anywhere. I’m really living it up internet dating style though!

Let’s get down to business.

2011-08-26 to Today

Search Views
val kilmer 28
hurricane chow 5
mandy sellars gay 4
val kilmer top gun shirtless 3
girl with huge legs tlc show 2
chris farley schmitts gay 2
roy richard scheider 2
sam elliott 2011 2
roy scheider 2
hot girl with one leg? 2
sam elliott lifeguard 2
half ton teen 2
oprah winfrey’s baby boy 2
stallone 2
val kilmer leg 1
val kilmer in willow 1
steven seagal foto 1
hilarious and negetive 1
schmitts gay 1
cigarette holder women 1
pics of girl that was born with a tail 1
val kilmer no shirt 1
sam elliott in roadhouse 1
aj mclean y su novia 1
new stallone news 1
andrea beverly hills 90210 1
alexander james mclean 1
val kilmer pictures 1
val kilmer shirtless 1
why do girls wear anklets on only a single leg? 1
aj mclean 1
no whistling zone 1
i’ll call you this weekend 1
steve senders beverlly hills 1
tlc fat guy 1
val kilmer movies pics 1
is mandy sellars gay? 1
is mandy sellars gay 1
stupid hats winter 1
mermaid tails 1
my giant legs mandy gay 1


Val Kilmer really did his part this week in getting people over to Hilarious and Negative! Thirty-seven searches for Val Kilmer led people to my corner of the internet. I hope they were not disappointed. How could they be? Considering I delivered on the “Val Kilmer Willow” and “Val Kilmer shirtless” searches. I give the people want they want. That’s my job as an ambassador of this here internet town.

Also, why are so many people obsessed with finding out if Mandy Sellers is gay or not? It seems like her least interesting quality at this point considering that she HAS GIANT LEGS.

This one kills me: “why do girls wear anklets on only a single leg?”. I think I answered that question a few weeks ago on the very first installment of “This Week in Searches“. Because it’s tacky to wear them on both legs you guys. There is nothing worse than over-accessorizing your legs. Chill it with the anklets. I find it very amusing that this was a burning enough question that someone typed it into a search engine. In the past, this person would have had this question festering inside them for ages! Or they might have gone to their local library to look at books on ‘jewelry’ and ‘customs’. What a different world we live in now.

Such a different world that a girl has to go looking for dates on the internet because that’s where all the boys live. sigh.


Vintage Sylvester Stallone

Another week has passed! New York successfully survived Hurricane Irene. Now I’m stuck having to listen (read) to people bitch about how it wasn’t as big as it was supposed to be. I don’t understand how people can be upset about this. So you stayed in for the weekend; was it really that awful? No. It wasn’t! There was pizza, cookies, and beer involved! And I’m sure there are people out there who’s Hurricane “Operation: Get Laid” plan actually worked. Kudos to you!

Well, on to the important matter at hand: Vintage Crush Sunday! This Sunday I am presenting you with none other than Sylvester Stallone!

Look at that 70's goodness!


Now, I am an unabashed Stallone fan. In my eyes, he can do no wrong. He wrote Rocky! Just watch this trailer…They don’t make trailers like this anymore.



Part of me wonders if he wrote the script for that trailer as well. He is all of those things that trailer says he is and more. Anyways, during my first semester of graduate school, I had a lot of spare time. I wasn’t working and wasn’t spending all my spare time deflecting OkCupid messages from guys with a ventriloquist dummy hobbies. So I spent even more time watching Netflix than I do now. I re-watched all the Rocky movies (IV is my favorite…always has been, always will be) and then I caught up on all the other Stallone movies I had apparently missed out on in my youth…or didn’t remember. Um, Cobra? Amazing! Over the Top; who wouldn’t want to watch Stallone compete in an arm wrestling competition? Of course there is Lock Up! The age old story of good prisoner vs. bad warden. The best part about Stallone is he wrote these. He took stardom into his own hands and I admire that.


Love a man in mirrored shades!


Some basics according to IMDB:

Full Name: Sylvester Gardenzio Stallone

Born: July 6, 1946 in New York City, New York, USA

Height: 5’9″

Films/Television: 59 Films, 22 of them he actually wrote! Impressive. I mean, those first couple of Rocky movies are just…sigh, perfect. Everything about them. He also directed eight of those.

Awards: He was nominated for two Oscars for Rocky. He’s also been nominated for a lot of Razzie awards. And won several of them. Including the 2000 Razzie for Worst Actor of the Century. Which, is being a little harsh. I mean…Demolition Man was pretty terrible, but all those Rocky movies should make up for it!

…and yes for the 70s/80s/very early 90s. But have you seen him lately? It’s kind of frightening. Although, I’m working on that time machine to make all my dreams come true! Maybe I’ll set it for Rocky IV and get some of this beard action…


So manly! I love it!


Here’s a little secret: I downloaded the compilation album for all the Rocky movies. It’s amazing. I have it on my gym playlist called “Gym Jams”. For a while I was just solely working out to that the soundtrack. It’s so motivating. Try not to get amped up listening to “Gonna Fly Now“. Also, “No Easy Way Out”…there is no shortcut home…some things are worth fighting for…and some feelings never die. This song is perfect. So perfect in fact…



I also bought a Groupon for 5 one-on-one boxing lessons! All because of Rocky. I really just want to be in a boxing ring so I can say, “I must break you”.  Expect posts about that when I get going on that.

There’s still enough time in the weekend to watch a Rocky movie! Do it! And have a great Monday!



Unfortunately, the date went well, which means that I really have no horrible details to share with you all. He seemed to be normal. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to describe someone I’ve been on a date with as ‘normal’. I mean there was the this guy, but he turned out to be not normal when he officially dumped me after one date. At least in my mind that is not normal. I could be wrong though. Most of what I know about dating has been learned from abc family movies. Seriously, abc family needs to hire me, they are missing out on the goldmine of awesome ideas that are in my brain.

He dressed normal. I wasn’t offended by anything that he was wearing, so points for that. Generally, I will dismiss someone fairly quickly if I think their outfit is a little weird…remember him? I can’t help it! The person you are out with is a reflection on one’s self, I don’t want people to think I am a weirdo because the guy I am with is dressed like Steven Seagal on bad (good, maybe?) day.


I wish this were a joke.


He likes Deep Space 9 and King of the Hill; these are obvious requirements for anyone that I plan on going out with. I can’t date a man who doesn’t like television. I mean, what would have to talk about? Injustice in the world, the economy, global warming? I like to keep things light! He liked that I liked Dolph Lundgren and he said I was really funny. Obviously, I’m all about a guy that laughs at my jokes and thinks I am funny. It’s all about me. That’s one thing I learned about dating from abc family. Well that or you completely change yourself in order to get a guy to like you. The latter option I’m not to fond of because that involves work. Although, sometimes I think it would be entertaining to go on a date and be really cheerful, talk in a somewhat high pitched voice, and giggle a lot to see where that gets me. I’m thinking it could either land me in an institution for when I snap because of all my suppressed rage or it could get me a really nice summer home in Cape Cod.

He was just normal. I don’t think I am used to that. He messaged me today to say that he hamd a good time and that we should hang out again soon. I agreed. We’ll see if I think he is normal on the second date or if the novelty of normality has worn off and I can find something wrong with him. Anyone willing to place any bets on that?

I do have a post date subway platform story to share with you all. However, you’ll just have to wait until Monday! I have to keep you guys coming back somehow and if that means being a blog tease, well then, so be it.

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