Ahmusings

The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: opinion

Fashion Week Ruins Everything According to Wealthy Neighborhood

In dishonor of New York Fashion Week (Feb 9th-16th) I am going to be sharing some fashion related thoughts with all of you throughout the week. As a note, I have a degree in Fashion Design and spent some time working for various fashion companies. It was the worst. I continue to have opinions about fashion, the main one being: Seriously, what the fuck are you wearing? So for the next week don your best headband and enjoy the ride.

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Yesterday the New York Times ran an article about Fashion Week taking over Damrosch Park in Lincoln Center and annoying the neighborhood’s inhabitants.

The park is occupied (not by dirty hippies, like that other park) ten months out of the year due to Fall and Spring Fashion weeks, The Big Apple Circus from October to January, and private parties also under ritzy tents during the spring.

“Residents and some members of Community Board 7 said that in the past they had not looked forward to the four-month takeover of the park by the Big Apple Circus, but that they had grown used to it. Their frustration mounted, however, when Fashion Week arrived.

“It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back,” said Susan Levy, a resident of the Alfred.”

And my personal favorite:

“‘It’s an assault on the neighborhood,’ said Michael Graff, a lawyer who lives in the nearby Alfred condominium tower.”

Forgive me if I can’t seem to find my sympathy for Mr. Graff, who likely paid a million dollars for the condo he currently lives in. Hey, guess what Michael, my neighborhood is loud 24/7 and I don’t have the luxury of being 38-stories above the noise. I sleep with earplugs because the woman above me clomps around like a Clydesdale. I think you’ll survive.

“City officials brushed aside the criticism, saying that Damrosch Park was a hard-surface plaza with few visitors in winter. They argued that residents had ample access to nearby parkland, including Central Park, and said that many thousands of New Yorkers were able to enjoy the circus and the fashion shows.

“Fashion Week generates $865 million in economic activity each year and helps create jobs in one of our city’s most important industries,” said Julie Wood, a spokeswoman for Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg.”

There seems to be a lot of confusion about where some of those funds are being put and the NYC Park Advocates naturally think that the money Fashion Week pays Lincoln Center to use the park space should be put back into the city general fund instead of being used to finance fancy parties for rich people.

If Fashion Week gets kicked out Lincoln Center, where else can it go? Have the residents of the Lincoln Center area ever stopped for a second to think about that? There are literally no parks left for them to destroy if they live Damrosch! Bryant Park has already said, “Hell to the No” about fashion week! Central Park is all like, “Dahling, Fashion Week is for people who don’t know any better.” And Union Square is like, “PICK ME, PICK ME!” And no one likes desperation.

Next year I think it should be, “Honda Fashion Week at Flushing Meadows Park.” Just to wad everyone’s panties while they figure out how to get there.

Resume Up-sell

While enduring the first “practicum” class, aka, the “you’re paying to work for free class” of the semester we all had to go around the room and introduce ourselves. People were saying where they were interning and other boring information I could give a flying footnote about, when this one young woman dropped a little gem on us all. I was only half listening so I can’t even remember where she was interning, but she said how the internship is a good fit because her, “background is in the retail book industry.”

And then my brain exploded. It looked a little something like this:

I think what she meant to say is: I used to work at Barnes and Noble.

I get it. We all want to make our job seem a little fancier. I used to tell people I worked for a Non-profit, because technically I did; just in the retail aspect. But saying “non-profit” makes me sound like a do-gooder and like I had a job with meaning.

I’ve also been known to upgrade my job title on resumes as well. I believe I turned “Key-holder” into “Assistant Manager”. Solid up-sell! I did all the work that the assistant managers did, why shouldn’t I have the same title?

I also had the habit of quitting jobs soon after I got them for other opportunities. I turned those jobs into “freelance” work. That’s what freelance is all about! Getting in and getting out!

All I’m saying is, if you’re going to lie about working at Barnes and Noble, you might as well really go for it and say that you worked in Publishing or Distribution. Retail book industry, girl please. Come to me the next time you need help tweaking your resume.

Vintage David Duchovny

I should be doing homework (for that fucking group project) or studying for a quiz on Wednesday…but it’s Sunday and I have more important things to do. Like scour the internet for pictures of this week’s Vintage Crush, David Duchovny!!

I want to believe…that I will find someone like Mulder!

David Duchovny as a Vintage Crush is long overdue. I spent the better half of my first semester of graduate school watching every episode of the X-Files. Even the ones without Duchovny (Not worth it!). For the sake of this post, lets just pretend that Duchovny is exactly like his character Fox Mulder. Flawed, but in a way that is beautiful. Emotional, brooding, etc., etc. Ugh! I could go on forever about how much I love the Mulder character. Duchovny did one hell of a job making me fall in love with him. Stupid Scully!

The best part about David Duchovny is that he was hot in the 90’s. Do you know how hard that is to pull off? First, he had to deal with a pretty awful haircut. Second, those 90’s suits and jeans? Not flattering! Yet, he somehow manages to look good in them! There were a lot of things working against him. No matter how hard the 90’s tried, they just couldn’t make him not hot. That’s why he’s a Vintage Crush!

See what I mean?

Some basics according to IMDB:

Full Name: David William Duchovny

Born: August 7, 1960 in New York City, New York, USA

Height: 6’1″ (almost) Tall and handsome!

Films/Television: He’s acted in 65 titles. He’s also a writer, director, and producer!

Fun Fact: He went to Princeton. Then he got his Master’s in English Literature from Yale! Then he started a Ph.D. at Yale, but left to pursue acting. According to Wikipedia (the source to rival all other sources), the title to his unfinished doctoral thesis was, “Magic and Technology in Contemporary Poetry and Prose”. I don’t even know what that means…but I bet it was going to be fantastic.

…and, YES. Plus, he has a sex addiction…so that might actually work in my favor!

Do you need a lift? Why yes I do!

Seriously, what is not to love about David Duchovny? He’s tall, he’s handsome, he’s super smart. He was in a pretty terrible awesome romcom called Return to Me.  He was also in Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead. This guy is pretty much the best. I also dare anyone to watch The X-Files and not fall in love with him. The whole backstory about his sister and how he is always rescuing Scully…it’s pretty much the best thing that there is. Also, The Red Shoe Diaries…erotic drama series anyone? Twin Peaks! The list could go on and on.

Perfect.

This song is too perfect. And very true…David Duchovny, why don’t you love me?

David Duchovny, hovering above me…sigh.

Have a great night everyone!

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