Ahmusings

The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: organizing

Just For Laughs

I turned on my old Dell laptop for the first time in ages. Guess what as on my desktop? If you guessed “a mp3 file of the Brotherly Love theme song”, you would be absolutely correct! This theme song is amazing. I remember in high school myself and another girl would just sing it randomly, that’s how awesome it was. And just in case you were completely out of touch and living in a cave in 1995…

That was back when Joey Lawrence, oh! Excuse me, Joseph Lawrence, didn’t look like a wax statue of Mr. Clean:

This is such a weird look.

WAIT FOR IT….

AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT?!

Clearly, Mr. Lawrence needs to reach out to the folks at Procter & Gamble and work out some sort of endorsement deal.

Moving on to the more important business of the evening. I did some more packing! And that means I came across more random garbage from my past. There is a question on OkCupid that asks, “If you were to die, would whoever goes through your personal belongings be shocked by what they find?” I answered with “Maybe”.  I think they’d be shocked at the kind of lame things that I managed to hold on to over the years. Like a Dell Jukebox mp3 player with a lot of John Mayer on it (Ugh, so sue me! It was the early 2000’s! My body is a wonderland!), postcards and letters that I found while working at a thrift store, old drawings from an art class in college…

That’s what I am really here to discuss. I am by no means an artist. I am fully aware of the fact that 90% of what I draw is terrible. Sometimes I get lucky and something turns out okay, but that happens very rarely. When I was in college, since I was a fashion design major, I had to take a lot of art classes. One of those classes was Fashion Illustration. The name of the class should have really been, “Broke-down Figure Model Drawing”. We were in no way, illustrating fashions; we were either drawing a chick that would fall asleep while posing or one that had no eyebrows. Then we would take those drawings and scan them in to the computer and gussy them up in Photoshop. Bad idea all around.

Drawing Number 1: Beavis as Caesar.

Caesar, is that you?

It is safe to say, that is not even close to what this woman looked like or what she was wearing. Also, you’ll start to see that “no feet” was a common theme in a lot of my artwork.

Drawing number 2: Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet

“The rain forest, that sounds wet.”

This was probably my favorite drawing that I did in that class, obviously because of the flagrant artistic liberties I allowed myself. She was not actually holding a spear and a lion did not eat her feet. The best part of this was when I scanned it into Photoshop, I put her in an African setting and put a lion in the background. My professor was appalled and didn’t understand my artistic vision. I looked for the image on the various flash drives I have lazing about my apartment, but I could find it! I am truly saddened by this.

Drawing number 3: “There’s no crying in baseball“:

Feet! I drew feet!

I couldn’t even begin to tell you what’s going on with this drawing. I am starting to think that I closed my eyes while drawing and just drew whatever was in my mind at the time. The photoshopped version of this, I am pretty sure, involved some Yankee blue stripes and a Louisville Slugger. You may be asking yourselves, “how is this related to fashion illustration at all?” I asked myself that same question all semester long. I’d like to say that my drawing skills got better by the end of the semester, but I don’t think they did. I think I actually started caring less about the class and by the end was just drawing whatever the fuck I wanted.

My professor loathed me. She actually gave me a written warning that I was in danger of failing the class because of my “attitude”, “inability to take things seriously”, and something about how I didn’t care about my future. Boy did she have me pegged! I think she must have ended up giving me that ‘A’  because of my serious talent as an artist.

Guess What I Found?!

 

Another successful night of packing. I almost have my bookshelf cleared! Three boxes and one suitcase full of books and dvds; I really need to start utilizing the library. It would making packing much, much easier.

Well tonight I found a couple of gems in one of my many Rubbermaid tubs. It’s kind of insane how many of those things I have. I’m looking to turn them into a desk once I hit my new apartment. If that’s at all possible, now that I’m looking at them, it doesn’t really seem like it would work. We’ll see. I’m sure you’ll be reading about it soon enough!

On to the good stuff. I’m really learning a lot about myself during this packing process. Mainly that I had all these big ideas for craft projects that I never got started on. Also, that I collected a lot of weird stuff. Some of it I’m not even sure where it came from.

The first item from Meaghan’s Magical Mystery Miscellany: Star Trek: The Next Generation Fabric.

 

The only thing that would make this better is Commander Riker’s face screen printed on it.

 

I bought this either my sophomore or junior year of college off of eBay. Basically, this is the best eBay purchase I’ve ever made. Well, it’s a close race between this and an ALF stuffed animal. When I bought this, I think that I was going to make a vest out of it. I say this, because I found a men’s vest pattern the other night. Ugh, seriously. I think I was going to make it for a man friend of mine. He might have previously dumped me and maybe I thought that would be a good way to get him back…a fucking vest. I thought a vest was a good way to get someone to like to me again. Ha! Clearly, I was an idiot. Well, I’m glad that didn’t work out! Because now I have this left over fabric! The possibilities are endless with this. I could make shorts! Curtains! Pillowcases! Placemats! This is exciting!

The second item I found tonight is a book: Ghostwriter: A Match of Wills. YES. THAT GHOSTWRITER. I have to put this video in before I show you this book.

“He’s a ghost and he writes to us. Ghostwriter.” I want to know who is responsible for writing that line. They were obviously underpaid.

 

I wonder how much I paid for this.

 

The best part about this Ghostwriter book, beside Jamal being featured heavily on the cover is this:

 

The answer to the previous question: obviously not enough.

 

It’s signed by two of the actors from the show! Mayteana Morales played Gaby Fernandez and Todd Alexander played Rob Baker. Obviously I got this second hand, which makes me wonder who would give something like this away!? This is something that should be cherished, possibly framed. I’m not even sure where I got this, but boy am I glad that I took it home with me! So that I could forget it about it for years and then suddenly find it and think it is the greatest thing ever…again.

Packing is kind of like Christmas.

Craft Supplies

I started going through some of my junk. Mainly I’m trying to get rid of a lot of stuff, so I have less to move out of my apartment. Some stuff is easy to get rid of: clothes that don’t fit, shoes you never wear, books you finished reading and didn’t really like, scraps of paper, etc. I find the most difficult thing for me to part with is crafting supplies. I’m talking crafting supplies that I have accumulated since college–we’re talking about six years worth of stuff.

A lot of it is left over fashion design stuff, from when I thought that was what I was going to be doing with my life. Ha! If I knew then, how shitty fashion jobs were, I would definitely have rethought that whole, “I’ll major in fashion design” on a whim thing. I have a lot of left over fabric and to be honest, I’m not sure I’ll ever be doing anything with it. I’d like to, but I was never super talented at the whole wearable fashion design thing. I liked working with felt, embroidery floss, and puffy paint. Basically everything I made looked like a 10 year old girl’s craft project from the early 90s. Maybe if I had stuck with that schtick, I could have been the second coming of Lisa Frank.

 

I didn’t know fine art could induce seizures.

 

Going through my craft supply tub is like sifting through shattered dreams! If I’m not careful I am going to end up like on of those crazy hoarders that attaches a memory to the tiniest button. At least I didn’t find any dead cats in my stuff. That would have been especially troubling since I have never owned any cats.

It’s kind of interesting going through old things like that, it’s sort of a “what I used to be interested in” time capsule. At one point I was super into buttons and trims apparently. Zippers, ribbon, you name it, I came across it tonight. Also, puffy paint! I’m keeping that stuff until it dries up permanently. I’m afraid at some point they are going to stop making it and then what will I paint with? I was also very into novelty fabric–stuff with space ships and robots. Don’t ask. I know the reason, but just don’t ask. There was a period of time where I was drawing stick figure comics. Some of them were quite funny. If I had a way to put them on here I would. Although, they might only make sense to me and a few other people–they were tailored to a very certain crowd. My senior year, I got into screen printing. Finally tossed two of the three stencils I made away. I get really into things and then I lose interest, I guess. Jack of all trades, master of none type of thing maybe.

Throwing away stuff I made is especially hard, even if it’s ugly. It’s like I forget about it until I see it and then I have to think about whether or not to keep it. Some of the stuff I haven’t even set eyes on since I last moved two years ago. Sometimes I think that if I were to pay someone to come in and throw stuff away, I wouldn’t even miss half the stuff that got tossed out. Or maybe I would. It’s hard to say…and that’s why it’s so hard to throw stuff away! I may miss it! I may need that 2″ scrap of brown felt for something!

Here’s a photo that I took of some Magna Tac glue that I forgot I had left out. I think this perfectly sums up how I feel about my crafting stuff. If you forget about it, it just builds up and then explodes everywhere, rendering it useless.

 

Goodbye my friend.

 

And can I just say, that I love the fact that my blog comes up when people search “which days do people go grocery shopping in new york?” To that person, I say…EVERY GOD DAMN DAY.

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