Ahmusings

The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: Running

I Immediately Regret This Decision

I’m going to cut to the chase–I’m supposed to run/speed walk/craw/jog the Marine Corps Marathon in October. How I got here is not important. I take full responsibility for allowing my friend to register me. Although, I didn’t think she was going to be able to, since website for registration kept going down. I was feeling smug because I had done a triathlon sprint just a handful of months before.

With all of that said: I AM SO FUCKING FUCKED.

Reasons Why I Should Not Run a Marathon

  1. I took a long break from running
  2. Due to that long break, I suck at running.
  3. Running sucks.
  4. I’m a few weeks behind on my training plan.
  5. It’s hot and humid outside.
  6. I will die.

Reasons Why I Should Run a Marathon

  1. I bought new running shoes.

You can see my problem. I have FIVE more reasons why I SHOULDN’T do it versus the one that I should. How do I get out of this? Is it too late to back out? Do I suck it up, train as much as I can and drop out at mile 10? What is the etiquette here?

Running Wild

Yesterday I ran my first 5K in the Valentine’s 5K run in Prospect Park. It was pretty awesome. I finished with a time of 32:34 and even got a flower for being one of top 150 females finishers. This race is the first of many leading up to a Triathlon sprint in July.

I was pretty nervous the morning of the race. I just didn’t want to finish last. I’ve finished last before, way back in elementary school in a track event. Oh man, was that the worst. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but you know you’ve reached a low point when your mom is running along side of you so you’ll finish. I had to prove to my nine or ten-year-old self that I could indeed finish this race without embarrassing myself. And I did!

So when I picked up my bib for the race, I was looking around the room at all the runners. Some of these people, to me, seemed like they might be taking this whole 5K thing a little too seriously…making me think I was screwed. Then I spotted my savior. A slightly goofy looking dude with high-water track pants and mutton chops. He was walking in circles and then he sort of stumbled over his feet. I know how awful this sounds, but at that moment my confidence surged. I no longer had any fear that I was going to come in last place, because I knew I could at least beat this guy. To make myself sound like a less horrible person: I admire anyone who has the balls/boobs? to sign up and show up for a race. It’s kind of scary and the only thing that matters is that you finish. It doesn’t matter how you finish or when you finish, just that you finish. But lets be honest, it’s always nice when someone is worse than you at something. It gives you that small bit of self-assurance you need, to say, “I can fucking do this.”

There were all types of people there running: young, old, fat, thin, kids, couples, lonely old hags (me!). I put on my Blood Bros: First Blood mix and I was ready to fucking go.  Did I mention it was freezing outside? I think I ran a little faster than normal just so I wouldn’t have to be outside for longer than I had to.

There’s a pretty big hill in Prospect Park that sucks to run up. I ran up it. I’m not gonna lie, I walked for like 30 seconds when I got to the top of it, but so were other people! Which was awesome because it makes you realize that other people suck at running up hills too.

As I was in the final stretch, this part of the megamix came on:

At that moment I could see the finish line and I was like, “I AM THE BEST AROUND! NO IS EVER GOING TO KEEP ME DOWN!” I started running a little faster thinking of the Karate Kid and how he was an underdog and if he could beat that asshole, I could finish this race strong.

Then the last couple of meters of the race, right as I’m about to cross the finish line, this song comes on:

How awesome is that?! I think everyone knows how I feel about Stallone and the Rocky franchise. I was even wearing a Rocky t-shirt!

And you know what? I did fly. I flew across that fucking finish line like a champ.

And then I doubled over from the pain in my side and burning in my lungs.

On to the next race!

Athlete

I am well on my way to becoming one.

Once I started graduate school and quit my retail job, I decided to start taking better care of myself. Since I was no longer having to eat my feelings because I was stuck in a job that I hated, it was surprisingly easy! I had time to really focus on fitness and health. I started hitting the gym, eating better; I eventually joined Weight Watchers in January. As far as “dieting” goes, Weight Watchers is probably the best program out there to join, if you’re one of those people that needs guidance about how not to stuff your face with delicious garbage. Trust me, I love some delicious garbage. But Weight Watchers I think knows that about people and they are like, “hey, if you are going to eat garbage, just eat less of it and don’t let it happen very often”. That’s how it should be. You should be able to eat things that you like, learn to make new things, and enjoy them in moderation. I don’t think I could ever give up my New York-style Chinese food anyways. A girl has to have something to reward herself with.

Well, I’ve lost a significant amount of weight since I started taking better care of myself. I’m still not where I want to be yet, but I am certainly getting there. In the process I am finding that I am capable of doing things that I didn’t think were ever possible, like running outside. To be honest, I haven’t been doing a very good job of it lately. However, I did go for a 5K run this morning with my friend Jessica; it goes a lot faster when you have someone to talk to. We registered for a 5K race in October. So hopefully, I’ll be able to finish that with a time that isn’t super embarrassing.

I also went on a 22 mile bike ride today. My thighs are not happy with my right now.

I feel a lot better about myself than I did even 6 months ago. Maybe I’ll even run the New York Marathon eventually! HA! I’m kidding, I have no interest in that. I hear when you train for a marathon your toenails will fall of. Um, hello? What good is being fit if I am ugly and have no toenails? This would probably be me if I decided to run the NY Marathon:

 

 

Maybe I’d be better suited to a triathlon. Shorter distances in three events seems doable. Although, I’m not sure how people feel about fishing a bloated corpse out of a river.

I’m supposed to see Rise of the Planet of the Apes tonight, it’s got my boy James Franco in it. I’ll let you know how it is. I’m biased though, Franco could be reading the phone book on screen for 2 hours and I’d probably enjoy it.

Until next time!

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