The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: Social Media

Aliza Licht’s Reveal is Definitely the Worst ‘It Gets Better’ Video of All Time.

In dishonor of New York Fashion Week (Feb 9th-16th) I am going to be sharing some fashion related thoughts with all of you throughout the week. As a note, I have a degree in Fashion Design and spent some time working for various fashion companies. It was the worst. I continue to have opinions about fashion, the main one being: Seriously, what the fuck are you wearing? So for the next week don your best headband and enjoy the ride.


In the worst coming out story you’ll hear this week (straight ladies can’t do anything right), Aliza Licht, senior vice president for global communications at Donna Karan International, has revealed herself as the woman behind @DKNY’s DKNY PR Girl. It only took the New York Times about four months to notice, letting everyone know how slow of a news day it actually was.

“I CAME out on YouTube,” said Aliza Licht, who until recently was known to her legion of Twitter fans only as DKNY PR girl. “Of course, where else would you come out?”

How quaint! YouTube, the internet cat theater, is finally doing some good. I’m sure all 380,000 of her followers bought tickets for the midnight showing of the most self aggrandizing Twitter unveiling of our century.

“Seated at the Four Seasons lobby the other day (her pick for the roaring fireplace), Ms. Licht pondered her next steps. “I’ve never thought of myself as a public person,” she said.”

Really, you never thought of yourself as a public person? Interesting how the word “public” comes right before the word “relations.” Also, Twitter? Really? You’re not a public person, but you’re sharing every detail of your career and how you enjoyed a squished cake pop? Stop trying to sound modest; everyone knows your Fashion 2.0 Award for Best Twitter and Best Blog is practically a Pulitzer.

The whole article is barf-worthy. Let me just pull out some of my favorite quotes:

“Ms. Licht, a 37-year-old mother of two, grew up in the Five Towns area of Long Island, with dreams of becoming a plastic surgeon. It took a summer internship at a hospital to relieve her of that notion. “I can’t wear scrubs every day,” she said, throwing her head back and laughing. “I love fashion too much.'”

I love when people say things like, “I love fashion too much” as a reason to why they can’t or won’t do something. “Oh, I could never be a mathematician, I just love fashion too much.” Yeah, that’s the reason why could never be a mathematician. I know she is trying to sound charming and relatable in this piece about her, but she coming off as some sort of prententious try-hard.

“Her online voice comes across as girlie and intimate (morning routine, weekend mani-pedis and “Gossip Girl” critiques) but knowledgeable. She’ll discuss inner workings under the hashtag #PR101, as in “Attention to detail is everything. The wrong colored binder clip can destroy your presentation.'”

Yes, just what we need more of: grown women adopting a girlie facade in order to get people to pay attention to her. I understand wanting to produce something that makes people feel like they are a close part of your life, but you can do that without undermining your credibility as a professional/grown ass woman. She’s obivously worked very hard for the position that she has and it would be nice for those tweets to reflect that. Instead of hearing how “Listening to @MissJennaB place our 20 person sushi order just now was the most painful thing I have done all day.” Really, that’s the most painful thing you’ve done all day? You’re the VP for Global Communications! Surely you have responsibilities that are equally as painful as listening to a sushi order.

‘”The friends you make on Twitter are real relationships'”

I’m sure they are. I’ve met all my best, fake friends through the internet.

Today In Searches

I like to check the stats of my blog. Because I like to cry over how many people aren’t visiting during the day. One of my favorite things to look at is the “Search Engine Terms”…you know, those words that you type into Google, that eventually lead you here and then have you scratching your head wondering what you’ve gotten yourself into. I used to do a weekly post on this, but it got kind of tiresome because people were always searching for the same thing: Jean-Claude Van Damme’s ass. I mean, I don’t blame them, it’s a nice ass. And honestly, that search term has brought me a lot of viewers–but I sensed that people were probably getting tired of basically reading the same blog post week after week…for like 4 weeks.

HOWEVER! I couldn’t keep this search term to myself. Today when I was checking my stats, through my tears (seriously you guys, start making me popular!) I saw this gem: Jonathan Frakes Naked !!!!!!!!! I added those exclamation points for effect.

Someone is actually searching for a picture of a naked Jonathan Frakes! I want to know more about this person! Male or Female? Young or old? Strictly just a Next Generation fan? What are their thoughts on Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction?

But most importantl; Jonathan Frakes naked during his peak?

Or Jonathan Frakes naked now? I guess busy, leisure shirts really get some people going?

Either way, this just confirms that I am writing about relevant topics that people in the year 2012 care about. I win the Internet!!

Frakes photo from: http://tv.yahoo.com/jonathan-frakes/contributor/32367/photos/1



Twitter Fight: Round Two!

Oh my gosh you guys! My Twitter fight really took off after I went to sleep last night. Not only did he tweet at me, but someone else got involved too! As far as I can tell @thomaswhardy is some sort of Australian Libertarian who believes that a woman’s womb is her own.

This just got crazy in the past hour! I’ll do my best to recreate the play-by-play. This is better than the Superbowl if you want my honest opinion.

So after letting his tweet sink in for a few minutes and then punishing myself with reading his other tweets, I cam across these two gems.

Previously I had been debating about whether or not to keep tweeting at him, but since it’s Sunday and I want to wait until the last possible minute to start that paper, I thought I’d go ahead and goad this person a little further.

Obviously, I know just what to say to get a response.

Oh! The typo to end all typos! That’s like when Santorum said “Black people” but insisted he said “Bleaugh people” as if that was any better. Also the whole 3 of 4 and 6 to 10…where is he getting that figure? By his calculations three men are producing 2 to 3 babies at a time and then aborting all of them. If that’s the case, where are all these children I see every day, coming from?!

(editor’s note: I am so mad at myself for not proofreading that above tweet more carefully!)

Reading comprehension is pretty low on the internet. Those two above tweets go together, but you wouldn’t realize it considering that nowhere did I “blame” men.

Guys, just do yourself a favor and don’t Google “blackgenocide.org”. It’s not worth it. I did have the “guts” to read it and under their mission they have Deuteronomy 30:19 listed. In case you’re wondering what that is:

King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)
I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live

Now, really, that could be taken to mean a number of things. Like, “hey man, don’t kill yourself, you have kids to take care of” or something like that. It almost seems unlikely that the Bible would be addressing a woman directly, since they were thought of so highly back then. /sarcasm.

Well, TheFlaCracker’s tweet inspired one of my most favorite tweets I have ever written:

Oh man…I know it’s not cool to laugh at your own jokes, but damn! I was on fire.

A thinly veiled threat, maybe? I’m not really sure how threats on the internet work. I mean, I watched Cyberbu//y on ABCFamily, but all I got out of it was that the worst thing you can call a girl on the internet is a “whore.”

So, I decided I was going to put a stop to everything. Because, seriously you guys, I need to write this paper. It’s due tomorrow.

I was trying to bow out gracefully. I mean, I said “good day!” Which obviously means nothing, because 23 minutes later he comes back at me with these!

and my personal favorite

As the mature, 26 year old woman that I am, I’ve decided not to fan the flames of this giant moron any longer. Well, I did tweet on more thing at him, @modestmeaghan It was fun while it lasted. No one ever really “wins” on the internet, but it’s safe to say that I will be able to move on from this and he will probably still be tweeting from his parent’s basement in Tampa for the next billion years.



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