Ahmusings

The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: student loans

This Is What $75K Looks Like

In case any of you were ever wondering what $75,000 (plus interest!) looks like or what it buys you, let me enlighten you.

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Now, I don’t want to sound entitled, but I think  for $75k they should have at least included a frame. So not only did I spend almost a $100 grand on a piece of paper that looks like it was made by students in the Graphic Design program, I now have to spend an extra $20 for a frame?  Seriously, look at this piece of shit. I am pretty sure that is a sticker at the top under the name of the school I went to. A STICKER. And what font is that even? Times New Roman? I’m surprised they didn’t print it in Wing Dings.

And let’s not even get into the fact that Forbes named Library Science THE WORST MASTER’S DEGREE TO GET. And Pratt couldn’t even make up for that fact by printing it on a piece of paper larger than your standard 8.5″ by 11″.

And just for fun, I dug up my Diploma from undergrad and did a little comparison.

Look at how much bigger that thing is! And look at the delicate scribbles around the name of the university, which may I point out is IN LATIN. In fact, the whole god damn thing is in Latin, except for my fucking name. And for four years, it was roughly the same price when you factor in scholarships and various other things I did to get my tuition down (blow jobs, hand jobs, etc.). And! All that stuff was embossed! EMBOSSED. They had better sense than to use a fucking sticker.

So let me break this down for you in case you still aren’t getting it. $75,000 will get you an 8.5″ by 11″, MS Paint, Lisa Frank sticker wearing, Wing Ding, unframed piece OF BULLSHIT THAT WON’T GET YOU A JOB THAT WILL ALLOW YOU TO PAY BACK YOUR STUDENT LOANS BEFORE YOU DIE.

Things I Would Like to Happen

 

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I’d like to be with a guy and have people say things like, “Why is she with him? He must be really rich.”

And I’d like for it to be true. I have a lot of student loan debt that needs paying off.

Could it be?!

When I got back from Boston and checked my mail, there were three Netflix envelopes waiting for me! How could this be? They found me out the last time and reverted me back to my two-at-a-time plan, the bastards.

I think this has something to do with the fact that Alien was next in my queue, but apparently it wasn’t in their warehouse at the time. They said it would be about 3-5 days and would send me the next movie in my queue to tide me over. The way these things work out sometimes is amazing.

HOWEVER. The Alien dvd they sent me was broken! I mean, who do they have working over there?! Sending out three dvds at a time, when it’s supposed to be two, sending broken dvds, not putting Deep Space Nine on Instant. It’s getting out of control over there. Someone needs to start screening for jackalery in the hiring process.

I’m hoping that since I reported the dvd as damaged and plan on sending it back tomorrow, I can keep this three dvd scenario going for a least another week and a half. I need movies to watch while I sort through and throw away memories while I pack up my apartment. I’m sure I’ll come up with some gems to share with you all in the next few days.

Also, you are guaranteed a post on Saturday about an OkCupid date. This can either end two ways, awful or with him being a merman and me giving up my life on land and traveling down to his underwater metropolis.

Sorry, I just got done watching Splash. It could happen though. If it did, I’m pretty sure that the federal government wouldn’t be able to find me to make me payback my student loans. ::crosses fingers::

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