Ahmusings

The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: technology

This Week in Searches

Blah, it’s another exciting Friday. I need to break out of this funk I am in. But it’s raining, so I am using that as my excuse as to why I am in on a Friday night. I mean, I am 26 and single! I should be living it up on the streets of New York. I guess that’s not how I roll? I don’t know. I just looked at my post from last Friday…it was raining then too! The world is conspiring against me going out, kicking up my heels, and having a good time. For shame!

Anywhoo, here’s what you all came for. Or maybe not. I keep this up because it forces me to post and not give into my natural urge to lay on my couch and watch the rest of Wings.

2011-09-23 to Today

Search Views
val kilmer 53
sylvester stallone cobra 31
jean claude van damme 25
jean claude van damme hot 20
jean claude van damme naked 19
cobra sylvester stallone 15
aj mclean 9
sylvester stallone in cobra 8
gwildor 8
val kilmer shirtless 5
alexander james mclean 5
jean-claude van damme 5
jean claude van damme ass 5
lisa frank 4
hilarious pet peeves 4
sylvester in cobra 3
sam elliott roadhouse 3
robert redford 3
jean-claude van damme nude 3
jean claude van damme underwear 3
cobra stallone 3
jean claude van damme nude 3
van damme split 3
jean claude vandamme 3
sly stallone 3
jean claude van damme doing splits 3
robert redford mustache 3
tim daly 2
bd wong 2
jean claude van damme movies 2
jean claude van dam nude 2
val kilmer’s 2
a. j. mclean 2
stallone in shades 2
half ton mom tlc 2
jean claude van dam 2
sylvester stallone in cobra pics 2
mermaid tail 2
silvester stallone cobra 2
kobra sylvester stallone 2
jean claude van damme blood sport 2
naked van damme 2
cobra+sylvester 2
mermaid tails 2
jean claude van damme kickboxer 2
one ton dad 2
val kilmer no shirt 2
my robert redford hair 2
ton mom 2
hilarious and negative 1
mermaid pregnant 1
jean claude van damme height 1
schmitts gay 1
masters of the universe movie gwildor 1
tim daly 2011 emmy’s 1
jean claude van damme foto 1
jean claude van damme split 1
nkotbsb bell biv devoe 1
van damme films 1
jean claude van dame nude 1
jean claude van damme in underwear 1
redford out of africa 1
sylvester stallone picture in cobra 1
jean claude van damme dancing 1
jean-claude 1
silvestre stallone cobra 1
stallone cobra 1
jean claude van damme bum 1
silvester stalone cobra 1
shannen doherty 1
luke perry+surfing 1
new jackie chan 1
lisa frank wallpapers 1
val kilmer in top gun shirtless pics 1
vandamme naked 1
vintage jean claude van damme nudes 1
biehn 1
robert redford foto 1
the lady with the giant legs on tlc 1
jean claude van damme love 1
val kilmder 1
i hate whistling 1
splits jean claude 1
jean-claude van damme native language 1
cobra sly stallone 1
jean claude van dame hot 1
marathon man scheider 1
best strip club anchorage 1
pic no whistling 1
van damme wallpaper 1
tlc half ton dad 1
jonathan frakes imdb 1
split jean claude van damme 1
jean.claude.naked 1
sexy librarian 1
half ton dad update 1
кобра сталоне 1
van damme hot 1
splits jean-claude 1
jonathan frakes 1
the woman with the giant legs 1
sylvester stallone kobre 1
jean claude van damme diving board 1
rocky 1 sylvester stallone 1
no whistling zone 1
slyvester stallone cobra 1
jean claude van damme + height 1
john claude van damme doing splits 1
negative hilarious 1
van damme naked 1
a.j.mclean 1
val kilmer 2011 1
“jean claude van damme” naked 1
sylvester stallone kobra 1
luke perry 1

 

Wow. 42 people this week were looking for Jean Claude Van Damme in various states of undress. From just his underwear to his naked ass. I’m not surprised, it’s a nice ass. (Um…NSFW below!)

 

 

Picture courtesy of My New Plaid Pants

 

But come on you guys! He’s not a piece of meat! He’s a man, with feelings and thoughts. He definitely wouldn’t want us all sitting around our computers giggling about how hot is ass is. Ha! Who am I kidding? That’s all he wants us doing! Continue to titter away, internet!

jonathan frakes imdb What I love about this, is the person who typed this into a search engine, probably could have saved themselves like a fraction of a nano-second by just going to IMDB. I kind of hate it when people type a web-address into a search engine. That is what the address bar is for! Do people not know how to use the internet?! It’s been around for a while now, there are no excuses anymore. In one of my classes during my first semester of grad school, I sat next to a woman who tried to type an email address into the address bar. She also emailed the tech tutor to find out what a ‘web browser’ was. Of course she was in my group! The worst of it was that she tried showing me pictures of her kids. Take that nonsense elsewhere…I do not care about your children.

hilarious and negative and negative hilarious When I see this in the search terms, I like to pretend that my blog has a following. That people are reading this and then telling their friends, “oh hey, there’s this really cool blog out there called ‘Hilarious and Negative’, you should totally check it out. The chick who writes it, is so fucking hilarious and hot, I have no idea why she is single and hasn’t been snatched up by Ryan Gosling yet.” In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s how that is said every time. By me. Into my mirror in the morning.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll do something. Like go to a bar and buy an attractive stranger a drink. Or maybe I’ll just sit at home staring at my computer screen with a deadness behind my eyes, wondering what my life is becoming.

This Week in Searches

Oy. It’s Friday again. It’s been a long week folks, between moving, working, and starting classes, I am beat. It looks like it is going to be an interesting semester. I can already tell there’s at least one person in each of my classes that I’m not going to be able to stand. We’ll see how it goes. Also, I have a date tonight with another OkCupid dweller. So it’s quite possible I won’t even be able to finish out the semester because my body will be hacked into little pieces and floating around the East River. Wish me luck? Also, this is a different guy than the one I went out with a week or two ago…the normal one. I’m not really picturing that going anywhere. I’m really living it up internet dating style though!

Let’s get down to business.

2011-08-26 to Today

Search Views
val kilmer 28
hurricane chow 5
mandy sellars gay 4
val kilmer top gun shirtless 3
girl with huge legs tlc show 2
chris farley schmitts gay 2
roy richard scheider 2
sam elliott 2011 2
roy scheider 2
hot girl with one leg? 2
sam elliott lifeguard 2
half ton teen 2
oprah winfrey’s baby boy 2
stallone 2
val kilmer leg 1
val kilmer in willow 1
steven seagal foto 1
hilarious and negetive 1
schmitts gay 1
cigarette holder women 1
pics of girl that was born with a tail 1
val kilmer no shirt 1
sam elliott in roadhouse 1
aj mclean y su novia 1
new stallone news 1
andrea beverly hills 90210 1
alexander james mclean 1
val kilmer pictures 1
val kilmer shirtless 1
why do girls wear anklets on only a single leg? 1
aj mclean 1
no whistling zone 1
i’ll call you this weekend 1
steve senders beverlly hills 1
tlc fat guy 1
val kilmer movies pics 1
is mandy sellars gay? 1
is mandy sellars gay 1
stupid hats winter 1
mermaid tails 1
my giant legs mandy gay 1

 

Val Kilmer really did his part this week in getting people over to Hilarious and Negative! Thirty-seven searches for Val Kilmer led people to my corner of the internet. I hope they were not disappointed. How could they be? Considering I delivered on the “Val Kilmer Willow” and “Val Kilmer shirtless” searches. I give the people want they want. That’s my job as an ambassador of this here internet town.

Also, why are so many people obsessed with finding out if Mandy Sellers is gay or not? It seems like her least interesting quality at this point considering that she HAS GIANT LEGS.

This one kills me: “why do girls wear anklets on only a single leg?”. I think I answered that question a few weeks ago on the very first installment of “This Week in Searches“. Because it’s tacky to wear them on both legs you guys. There is nothing worse than over-accessorizing your legs. Chill it with the anklets. I find it very amusing that this was a burning enough question that someone typed it into a search engine. In the past, this person would have had this question festering inside them for ages! Or they might have gone to their local library to look at books on ‘jewelry’ and ‘customs’. What a different world we live in now.

Such a different world that a girl has to go looking for dates on the internet because that’s where all the boys live. sigh.

 

Technical Difficulties

20110830-120235.jpg
Pretty much the feeling right now.

Okay folks, I’m experiencing some Internet drama at my new apartment. I actually downloaded the WordPress App onto my phone, just so I could make post for you all. This is how faithful and diligent I’ve become about blogging! Hopefully there aren’t thousands of typos or weird ‘auto correct’ mishaps.

Like I stated above, I moved into my new place today. Seriously, the room I am living in is bigger than my last apartment almost. It’s like having a studio but also getting to live with a friend and having human contact on the regular. Something which I think I was in desperate need of. I’ve already decorated this room better than my last place. Movin’ on and movin’ up to quote my friend Joe!

The moving experience was actually fun. I hired movers because it was the easiest option. I always use these guys when I move…because there is always at least one cute guy lifting heavy things. One of the movers actually moved my stuff before when i made a move from Brooklyn to Washington Heights three years ago.

I was doing my best early morning flirting. Flirting has now become one of my favorite hobbies. I was making jokes, batting my eyelashes, they were loving it. I gave them leftover hurricane beer and cookies. What’s not to love? I am basically trying to use this company as a dating service. And why not? It’s as good a place as any to meet men!

Anways, I’m all unpacked and I start classes tomorrow. Things are about to get interesting.

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