The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: texting

Failed Trainmance

You know what I don’t understand about dating? All the games being played. Right now I’m playin’ a big old game of solitaire.


I just want someone to hold me!


Back in the middle of June, I was making my way from one bar to the next. I was waiting for the train, listening to some jams, and a guy walked by me. He smiled at me and since he was cute and I was feeling particularly good about myself that night, I smiled back. He said, I said ‘hi’, but I seriously doubt that. We kept glancing at a each other and smiling and when the train finally came, we both made our way for the same door. He said ‘hi’ and we both took out our earbuds. He asked me what I was listening to. Of course I wasn’t listening to anything remotely hip or underground. I was listening to Lady fucking Gaga’s new album. Don’t judge me! I bought it on Amazon for $.99. Technically, I didn’t even spend money on it because I had a little over a dollar left on a gift card. So there! I sort of averted my eyes and mumbled, “ughhhh…Lady Gaga”. He said, “let’s switch”.  So we traded iPhones. Of course he was listening to Elvis Costello, making me looking like an even bigger asshole. We sat next to each other on the train and chit-chatted. When his stop was approaching he said, “I’m going to give you my phone number”. I liked that approach because it gave me control over the contacting situation. Also, I hate giving out my number for fear that person will continue to call me and leave voicemails playing Here Without You by 3 Doors Down; true story. His stop came and we said goodbye. I continued my journey with a giddy little smile on my face. I just experienced a real live trainmance.

So the next day I sent him a text: Hey it’s Meaghan, we met on the train last night. Just wanted to say “hey”. He text me back almost immediately say, “I’m glad you didn’t wait to contact me”, followed up by, “Soooo…When shall we hang out? What are you doing this Wednesday night”? And yes I have the text messages saved! I’m a text hoarder. I can’t help it.

We ended up getting together that Thursday. We met up for dinner in Brooklyn. A BBQ place. I was very relieved that he wasn’t a vegetarian. I already hate picking restaurants, it’s just added pressure when they have dietary restrictions. During dinner we were chatting and I asked him where he was from. He said, “Alaska.” My jaw almost hit the table. Of all the people I meet on the train and end up going on a date with, he ends up being from Alaska, Southeast Alaska no less. It was the craziest thing. After dinner we walked around for a bit and he suggested we get ice-cream. We ended up at Junior’s. Do yourself a favor and get the Chocolate sundae with marshmallows. We talked some more and then decided to take the 40 minute walk back to my apartment. While we were walking he said, “I’m going to kiss you”. I was like, “ON THE SIDEWALK?” Ha! Like I cared. Although, making out in public kind of makes me nervous because one time I was at the park making out with a then-boyfriend and a homeless guy yelled, “Get a room!” In hindsight, I should have yelled back, “GET A HOME”.

Anyways, we would kiss periodically on the way to my apartment and when we passed the train station close to my building, I said, “You’re not coming upstairs tonight, so if you want to get on the train now, here’s your chance”. He decided to walk me to my building. We ended up making out in front of my building for like an hour. IT WAS AWESOME. He asked me if I wanted to go out again and I said, yes. He asked if it would be better to text or call, and I said either one. He said, do you want to just make plans now? I said, okay. He said, what are you doing tomorrow? I said, nothing that I know of. So we made tentative plans for the next day. He left and I walked my giddy personage up to my apartment. He text me a couple of minutes later saying, “smiling like a fool on the train”.  Swoon.

The next day he text me and asked about getting dinner and a movie. It sounded like a plan to me. We met a restaurant we ended up not staying at. The movie was called On Tour (Tournée). It was actually really good, I recommend checking it out. Afterward, we walked back to my apartment. This time I let him come up. Ha! He stayed the night. Double Ha! Obviously I do not subscribe to that old adage, “Why buy the cow, when he can get the milk for free”. Slut. It was worth it! I’m grown! I can do what I want!

We texted throughout the week and got dinner and saw The Trip (See this movie! It is amazingly funny and heartfelt) that Friday. After we went to the park and people-watched for a little while and then walked towards the train. I made it very clear that if he came to my apartment there would be no shenanigans because Tampax was taking residence in my vagina at the moment. I basically told him, “so if that was your only reason for coming over, I’m giving you the chance to back out now”. He laughed and understood. We took the train back to my place. We made out like teenagers and then went to sleep.

He left the next morning and we texted each other off and on that week. That weekend I went out of town for my birthday. When I got back, I checked in to see if he wanted to hang out. He said he was “busy that weekend, next week”?  I said, sure and for him to give me a holler when he was all freed up. He said, “will do my dear, sorry. getting ready for a big project”.  Which was true, he was working on some art stuff.

So I let a couple of weeks go by. I didn’t hear from him. I decided to give it one more shot and sent him a text wishing him good luck on his art project that was happening in a couple of days. He responded with: “Thanks darlin! Long time no talk, how are you”? I really had to reign it in. I wanted to be like, “You have my g.d. number. Are your fingers broken”? But I ended up saying, I was good and that my friend was coming into town for the week. I also said that if he was free the next weekend and wanted to hang to let me know. He said, “I’d love to! Lets talk next week, these next few days are insane”.

That was the 29th of July. Maybe he died?

What I don’t understand, is why people just can’t be honest? I mean, if you don’t want to hang out with someone, don’t keep dragging it out with hopeful phrases like, “I’d love to!” I mean seriously! What is the purpose of that? Just tell someone you don’t think it is going to work out! Is that really so hard? It certainly worked for this guy.

This disappearing act needs to stop. Just because you don’t text someone back, doesn’t mean they no longer exist. And it’s depressing that at 26, I can let a guy get to me like this. When does it stop? All I know, is that the only one missing out is him. Fuckin’ idiot. I’m awesome.

I’m turning a new leaf where I don’t give a flying fuck anymore. Those boys on OkCupid aren’t going to know what hit them.

It’s so hard to say goodbye…

to my homey. My days of playing tour guide are officially over. I got back a little while ago from seeing my BFF off at the airport. Now it’s back to dullsville for me.

I’m feeling a crushing blow of loneliness right now, so ya’ll will just have to bear with me. There’s something about spending quality time with your best friend that just doesn’t compare to anything else. Being able to show her NYC and the new part of my life all while cracking inside jokes from billions of years ago–that’s what friendship is about. It’s too bad we live on opposite sides of the country. Sometimes I don’t feel like I have that here in New York. Some good friends from college live in other states, a lot of my friends are married/engaged/or in long-term relationships. It gets hard being by yourself. I probably impose the seclusion on myself, who knows. But sometimes even when you are with people, you still feel lonely.  Some days just feel lonelier than others. Maybe this is a feeling that is unique to New York residents. I don’t know. Any of you readers out there from different states experience this?

Anyways, now that I’ve bared my soul for everyone. It’s time to get back to drowning my sorrows in episodes of Futurama and bowls of Cheerios. Seriously. This is my 2nd or 3rd time around watching Futurama. I pretty much have these episodes memorized. Two things I’m actually glad about in relation to not having a guest at my house: I can sleep in my bed again. I was nice enough to sleep on the couch! It’s only a love seat, and since I’m not 5’1″, I can’t really sleep super comfortably on it. Also, I can drink water as my main source of hydration again. For the past few days when I have woken up, my mouth has felt like a cotton ball.

Now I’m just waiting for a text message from a man…I’m trying not a get my hopes up about this, because we all know how well it ends when I think things are going good. But I do like him. Shocking, considering I am so judgmental and picky. The wait is stressin’ me out, man. I should just hide my phone and not look at it until tomorrow afternoon. And then throw it across the room and collapse into sobs when I realize I have no new text messages.

I’m just joshin’ ya! About the throwing my phone part. Ha!

I’ll give you a call this weekend

A while back, in March, before I abandoned this blog (TMI Journal? Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it) I mentioned something about going on a date with a man from OkCupid. I feel confident in calling him a man, because he was 33, employed, had manners, and could string together a sentence. The bar sadly isn’t all that high to manhood boys, so don’t be afraid to jump on over! I believe I also mentioned something about sharing the “horrific details”.

Well, I’m sorry to disappoint all of you…but things actually worked out! We’re a couple now!

KIDDING! I really had you there for a second! Ha! Me, go on a date with a guy that actually ends up working out? You’re all at the wrong blog if that’s the kind of garbage you want to read about. There will be none of that here, thank you very much.

So, PNB (Potential New Boyfriend, thanks Dolly! How terrible is that video? I can’t tell if it’s a fan video or an actual video) and I had exchanged quite a few messages over OkC, when I finally asked him if he would be interested in meeting up. He gave me his phone number and told me to give him a text after the weekend and we would figure out a day. We decided on a Tuesday evening and I picked the place: Stand Burger. I figured if this date is terrible, at least I would get a decent burger and some fried pickles out of it. In all honesty, the date was not bad. There were no awkward silences, he was cute, he liked Deep Space 9, and was originally from Canada. He didn’t dress like he dug his clothes out of the dumpster in Seattle in 1995. In other words…I was banking on living in bliss watching DS9 and receiving socialized health care. Basically…MY DREAM. We talked a lot and after dinner he asked if I wanted to get some coffee and walk around. We walked around for two hours. He also got annoyed at slow walkers that were in front of us and continued to charm his way into my cold, blackened heart. Eventually we parted ways at the subway (not of the sandwich variety) and he told me he would give me a call during  the weekend. Score!

So the next day, I do that thing that I think most people do after a successful first date, (or maybe it’s just me. I haven’t really taken a poll on it) I called a wedding planner! Kidding. Again! I’m really confusing ya’ll out there, aren’t I?! I told you it was going to be a little different around here! On the real though, I sent him a text saying that I had a good time and that hopefully we would be able to meet up again soon. I didn’t hear back from him until two days later! People are so bad at texting. Well, I should clarify: People are bad at responding to my texts. Assholes. He said in so many words, ‘Meaghan! I had a good time too. I will call you this weekend.” Faith restored.

Sunday rolls around. I haven’t heard from PNB yet. Things are starting to look bad. I go out to dinner with my friend Nola, we end up getting three free desserts because our waiter was feeling generous. It was pretty awesome. I’m walking back to the subway and I get a text from PNB asking if I’m busy. I tell him that I’m about to get on the train, but I should be home in around half an hour. I’m positively giddy! It’s pathetic. Truly pathetic. I get home, I get another text a little while later asking if I’m still up. Indeed I am sir, indeed. I. am. The phone rings! We’re chit chatting about the day for like five minutes when he lays it on me. “Well, I just wanted to call you to let you know that I don’t think we’re going to go out again”. Oh, okay? “I just didn’t feel like there was much of a connection”. Um, alright? “I felt like you deserved a call”. Sure, yeah, no problem. “Well, have a good rest of the night”. You too. “I’ll talk to you later”. UH NO YOU WON’T. CLICK. I didn’t say that last part, but I was definitely thinking it. “I’ll talk to you later, even though I will never be seeing you again. Have a nice night! Now that it’s been ruined by the weirdest phone call ever”.

I was basically dumped after one date you guys. I’d say after one date, if you don’t like the person, you don’t continue to drag it out via text message and hope-filled ‘I’ll call you this weekends’. After one date, it’s perfectly acceptable to just ignore a text message. Right? Or is that just something I’ve made up in my mind? I’m pretty sure it’s not. And if it was, there is no way that I am ever wrong. Like, ever. The best part of this whole thing, is that I couldn’t even be mad or upset about it, because he was so fucking nice on the phone. You never want to see me again? Well, when you put it that way…I totally get it! It’s fine! I wouldn’t want to see me again either. Enjoy your night!

It was weird you guys. Getting dumped by phone after one date is not something I want to experience again. I’d rather they just not respond to my next day  ‘Good Times’ text message. Maybe I need to stop sending that? Let them tell me how great the date was via text message the next day. I have a feeling my phone will not be bombarded with texts of that variety. What is a woman in her mid-twenties to do?!

Also, don’t worry your precious little hearts, I’ve got a few more date stories to enchant you all with. You’ll just have to stick around. Bring friends. Is there something you want me to talk about? Leave it in the comments. It doesn’t hurt as much when we’re all laughing together.

That's my face, every day. Minus the unibrow

::picture from: comicartfans::

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