I know most of you are on the edge of your seats wondering how the NKOTBSB concert was on Sunday. Well, all I have to say about that is: You’re going to have a wait a little bit longer for a post about it. I’m still processing all of my emotions. Seriously. It’ll be worth the wait…especially if you like reading about pathetic, 26 year old women. There will be plenty to read on that front.
So in keeping with the theme of the week, I figured I would fill you all in on how I’m doing as a tour guide.
Another late start to the day! You can’t really blame us…we were pretty tuckered out from our NKOTBSB experience (Trust me, you’ll want to stick around this here blog for that post!). When we finally got going we headed on down to Coney Island. The game plan was to ride some rides, but when we saw the prices, we were both like, “Um, nevermind”. To put things into perspective, it is $6 per person to ride the Wonder Wheel. Now, I don’t know about you…but I’m not so sure that riding a Ferris wheel at this point in my life is worth six bucks. I’ve been on them before. Maybe when I’m rich and rolling in multiples of $6, I will shell out for it.
We quickly ended up changing our game plan to eating Nathan’s Famous hot dogs and bacon cheese fries. You only live once and it is a Coney Island staple, you have to eat there! We walked around on the boardwalk, the beach, and eventually found a photo booth to recreate a scene from our best friend movie. If you don’t know what a “best friend movie” is, it is basically a movie that you watched together a million times, that represents your friendship in some way. Ours is Beaches.
In the movie, the girls meet on the boardwalk in Atlantic City and become fast friends. One scene involves them taking photos in a photo booth…when we saw the booth at Coney Island, we were not passing up the opportunity to recreate these poses!
Here’s how ours turned out:
This is what happens when you watch a movie at the age of nine…it stays with you. Stays with you long enough to eventually recreate scenes from it. In other words, Coney Island was a complete success.
After that, we hauled our asses to the Empire State Building. This was a first for me. I figured there was no better time to hit up this tourist destination, than when I actually had a tourist with me. We got suckered into springing for the NYSky Ride. It’s a flight simulator that makes it seem like you are “flying” through NYC. If any of you ever visit NYC and you get presented with this option…SKIP IT. It has not been updated since they started doing it. Which was 1995. Seriously. There’s a waiting room video that they show and they mention that the Twin Towers are in the video, because it’s “important to preserve” the memory. I have a different theory. Me thinks they didn’t want to spring for re-shooting the aerial shots of NYC. Also, Kevin Bacon does the narration. I am sure there is more current NYC celebrity that could do this. And it’s looks like it might have been shot on a handicam. Everything in that video is totally 90’s. From the clothing the pedestrians are wearing to the cars you see being driven. Honestly, only spring for this if you want a good laugh and are with a friend that you can make jokes with. I was almost crying I was laughing so hard at how dumb it was.
Then we went up to the Observation Deck on the 86th floor. It was so. crowded. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the view is amazing, but I don’t understand why people need 500 shots of the same section of NYC. Take a few and move on, there are tons of people that are up there and the space is limited. Also, there were tons of dipshits who seemed to be contemplating the meaning of life while they were up there, with long winded conversations about NOTHING, all the while hogging valuable space. MOVE IT ALONG. Yes, everything looks tiny–that doesn’t mean you need to reevaluate your situation in life. Save that for when you are drinking coffee in a diner at 2am, like a normal person.
And another thing. Tourists do not know the meaning of the words “excuse me”. Does the phrase not make it into their luggage when they are traveling? I mean, how hard is it to say, “excuse me”, when trying to get past someone? Instead of shoving past like a jackal. So I guess next time I’m in a crowded place I am just going to do away with “excuse me” and do The New Kids Dance to get people out of my way (skip to about 1:15):
I have no patience for jackalery. There was also this really annoying woman who kept trying to point out the Statue of Liberty. It was dark, you could barely see the glow of Lady Liberty’s flame: Shut the hell up. For like 10 minutes she was trying to point it out. Good lord, if we want to get a good look at it, we’ll look during the f’ing day time! Even her son was annoyed and was like, “I don’t see anything”. I think he would have pushed her off the top if he could have. I know I certainly would have liked to.
Here are some pictures to show you how much fun I am capable of having:
I was also nice enough to take her into one of those tourist gift shops on 34th Street. Even though I was like so totally over seeing “I Love NY” merchandise and commemorative snow globes.