Ahmusings

The 98% humorous musings of M. Lizabeth Currain

Tag: tv

March 7, 2012

Biggest Loser Recap: Episode 10

 

I present to you my thoughts on Week Nine of The Biggest Loser in Haiku* form.

The teams switch trainers
Here we go with the crying
Stop being babies!

 

Dolvett in tights this week, yes!
He could train me any day
Guys, more of this please.

 

Conda such a two faced snake
Claims she doesn’t play the game. Right.
Such a fat liar.

 

Just a fat dreamer
Don’t let New York crush you
You skinny now girl.

Seriously you guys, is this season over yet? I am so done with all of these people. I actually really felt bad for Cassandra and the way she was sent home. Conda is such a two-faced, little bitch, who so desperately wants to be part of the boys club that it’s annoying. Cassandra definitely deserved to be there over Chris or Megan. THEY LOST ONE POUND EACH! Are you kidding me?! I can relate to Cassandra a little bit, I was just a fat dreamer, who wanted to move to NYC too! And I did! And now I’m not fat! But NYC still crushes my soul a little bit every day, so, watch out girl! Also, how dumb was that clip of her looking for apartments using a NEWSPAPER!? Are you kidding me with this shit? Seriously, try craigslist. It’s what people on a budget use.

*I checked and triple checked those damn syllables. So don’t even try and tell me these are not Haikus!; because they are now!

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February 29, 2012

Biggest Loser Recap: Episode 9

I present to you my thoughts on Week Nine of The Biggest Loser in Haiku* form.

 

Temptations at home
Buddy buys a chili dog
Doesn’t eat it, so dumb.

Huey out with friends
They all order beer, what jerks
who’s the hot guy?

Cassandra freaks out
over cookie dough of course
calm down you psycho

Awful sounds abound
Fuck, Chism has a jam band
Lord, make it stop please

Chism goes home, tears
Yikes that outfit is terrible
Skinny jeans, not good.

And there you have it, another week closer to this bullshit finally being over! I’m so sick of these people! It’s been 9 weeks where all they do is work out and eat what people tell them and like 90% of them are still WAY fat. I don’t get it! Also, this weeks weigh in was some sort of dramatic acting showcase! The speech, the tears, the “no send me home instead. Fine! Then get two tickets because I’m going with him!” It’s like these people are vying for an Oscar. Lord. I cannot wait until I never have to see these people again. And if Chism’s band becomes famous, I will DIE.

*I checked and triple checked those damn syllables. So don’t even try and tell me these are not Haikus!; because they are now!

2 Comments
February 22, 2012

Biggest Loser Recap: Episode 8

 

I present to you my thoughts on Week Eight of The Biggest Loser in Haiku* form.

They lack self control
Daphne hoses pb cups, revenge
A storm is coming

Daphne pulls a switch
Not so anonymus, everyone suspects
Of course Conda is whining

Black team is the worst
Now that Winter Witch  is here
Conda gains a pound, figures

Daphne gets the boot
Conda runs her mouth, never shuts up
Please let her be next

Another week down at the Biggest Loser ranch and Conda is still the most annoying, person on the planet! When will she go home?! I hate her. She is seriously ruining this show. Tune in next week!!

*I checked and triple checked those damn syllables. So don’t even try and tell me these are not Haikus!; because they are now!

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